This Bud’s for you - take it or leave it
By Howie Carr
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 + Recent Articles Boston Herald Columnist
Here’s a modest proposal: Tomorrow night at the White House, everybody drinks the same brand of beer.
How America 2009 is that? It’s not enough to have the host provide the adult beverages. No, now all the guests have to get on the record with which beer they prefer, and please, hold the Milwaukee’s Best.
Barack’s a Bud man. You know, the No. 1 domestic brand, although he probably hasn’t gotten the memo that August Busch IV and Ed McMahon aren’t walking through that door. Some Belgians now own the Clydesdales and the Beechwood aging process.
Actually, now that I consider Barack and beer, the first brand that comes to mind is Schlitz Malt Liquor, especially when Obama gets near a microphone:
“Look out for the bull!”
As for Professor Skip Gates - he says he’s a Red Stripe man, surprise surprise. After all, it’s brewed in Jamaica, mon, which must appeal to his repeatedly self-proclaimed 44 percent African DNA. Don’t tell Skippy, but I think the Red Stripe brewery was founded by Germans, and I wonder if that “horrifies” Skip, the way his 56 percent white DNA does.
Skip’s fallback lager: Beck’s.
But didn’t the serial killer known as Whitey Bulger once serve Beck’s to a bunch of G-men after a double-hit? Got the feds good and beered up, and then found out what they knew. After Whitey poured them back into their Crown Vics he said, “Thank God for Beck’s beer.”
If it’s good enough for Whitey, how can it possibly be good enough for Skip?
Then there’s Sgt. Crowley, and we’re all disappointed in his pick - Blue Moon. Are you bleepin’ kiddin’ me, Sarge? That’s one of those beers you put a slice of fruit in. Surely you meant to say Blue Ribbon. Or you could have asked for Busch Beer. That way, they would have had a familiar target to blame if things go bad tomorrownight.
It used to be the host only had to provide one beer. Everyone would be happy, because it was the best kind of beer - free beer.
One final question: Remember when Larry Summers was president of Harvard? Back in 2002, Summers went after Gates’ pal, Cornel West, because of “alleged skepticism” over the academic rigor of his courses in Gates’ African-American studies department.
Irony of ironies, Summers now works for Barack Obama - as one of his top economic advisers. Will Larry Summers of Cambridge and Harvard be invited to the Cambridge-Harvard summit?
Given his relationship with Gates and his lack of PC, Summers only gets to the beer summit on one condition. Hey, Larry, BYOB.