Washington , DC -- July 04,2009
Congress today announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1,
The move is being made in order to save the President's
$400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during
the last 3 months.
It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be
saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise
financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas
Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with
the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the
job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh, a
tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the
office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls
, NY . Thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle
his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time
difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at
night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell
Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an
"I am excited about this position. I
always hoped I would be President."
A Congressional spokesperson
noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues
involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as
Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.
will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively
to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address
common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at
all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the
"Obama has used them successfully for years, with
the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary
until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period,
he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment
benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Obama has been provided
with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a
resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to
a lack of any successful work experience during his
A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to
Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special