The Jimmy strikes again!!!!!
Holy crrrrrrap!!! I've never owned a bigger turd than this!!! I think the Renault LeCar has been bumped from the throne! The new heir to the toilet is the 2000 GMC JIMMY!
SO ... a few weeks ago the check engine light came on again for the ..... oh, ...40th time??? WIfe said she felt a slight stumble every so often. I check the codes ..... P0300 : random multiple cylinder misfire. It's a non-blinking light ... meaning it's not going to turn my $500 catalytic converter to liquid/ash, it's just a stupid emissions issue. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE POLITICS OF THIS!!! Al Gore wants clean air ... & MAKES ME PAY FOR IT!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
Deeep breaths ..........1 .......................2...................................3.........................................4..........................................5......................................... OK, I'm good now .....
So I check all the obvious stuff first ... everything looks good. Then I sprayed carb cleaner all over the intake manifold gasket area, & watched my scan tool for changes in fuel trim, signaling an air leak. None. I pop the distributor cap off & check inside. It's been in there for 30,000 ... good idea to change it, but I've run them 50 - 60K before without an issue. Doesn't look all that bad, but I look at my old receipt & see that it was the cheapo made in china crap cap/rotor .. so I have the wifey pick up a lifetime warranty cap/rotor, & a premium set of plug wires at ... against my better judgement ... Autozone, as nothing else was open at the time. So I install all the parts, yanked the MAF sensor & blasted it with carb cleaner for good measure, blew out the air filter, & checked for cracked vacuum lines. Cleared the code, & sent wifey on her way the next day. Code gone. All is well ........ or so I thought ....
About 3 weeks later (couple days ago), she says the truck is bucking/hesitating again. WTF ..... so I said I don't give a *censored* ... just keep driving. The next day, the check engine light is back on. Beautiful.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART!! It's coming .....!!
SO I'm on the computer yesterday evening, as usual & wifey calls to ask what I want for supper. I tell her grab me my usual at Subway, ..... then, back to the computer for me. Well not 10 minutes later, she calls to tell me she HAS NO HEADLIGHTS!! Oh my F *** ING God I'm gonna snap!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!! You gotta be kidding me!!!!!! So I tell her to check this that, & a few other things ....... NOTHING. So I say call AAA .... I'm not goin' anywhere.
Well 2.5 hours later she finally gets home on the flatbed ...... with no food ... at 9:30 PM. So I start firing up some frozen meat on the grill & pour a very tall glass of 127 proof whiskey. All is well again.
So today I set out to do some troubleshooting on this stupid headlight issue. I figured this would be a 5 minute slam-dunk, because I bypassed the multifunction switch in the steering column & hooked it to a $9 foot dimmer switch from a `70's Nova or Torino ... can't remember which ... Anyway ... I'm testing away, & discover I have battery voltage at the headlamp. Good. Then I check the ground & discover I have battery voltage there also!!!!
Good God almighty .... just let me have 10 minutes in a room with these GM engineers SO I CAN KNOCK ALL THEIR F***ING TEETH OUT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After some investigating online, I found that in their infinite wisdom, the ground is controlled by the Body Control Module, or BCM, or stupid F***ING BOX BUILT IN MEXICO FOR .30 CENTS & SOLD TO GM'S CUSTOMERS FOR $5000!!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!
Why? WHY WHY WHY have the damn grounds controlled by another frickin stupid ass computer??????? Then I find out the grounds are RELAY CONTROLLED. This just got super-complicated. .... BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND WHERE THE GODDAMN RELAY BOX IS!!!
THAT'S IT!! I'm designing my OWN ground system!! SO I get to work, cutting the grounds from the L & R low beams, then the L & R HI beams. By this time I have both headlamp assemblies out, along with the grille :
SO I figure I'll ground both low beams to the core support. I cut the low beam ground on the drivers side lamp, & hook my test jumper to it & connect it directly to battery ground. I turn on the headlight switch, & whaddya know? BOTH low beams came on! Progress, finally. Now to the high beams ....
I cut both grounds, L & R, for the HI beams & hook up my jumper. VOILA - bright light. Good deal ... but now I have to figure out a way to get this ground wire into the cab, & hooked up to the dimmer switch ... which now has to be rewired in order to ground the lamps. So I looked around, trying to find the easiest way in to the cab from the engine compartment, without boring a hole thru the firewall with the drill. I notice the E-brake cable conveniently close to where I have the dimmer switch mounted on the floor. After some swearing, & some aggressive help from a couple flat blade screwdrivers, I was able to force several strands of copper through the grommet. I then grabbed it with pliers, & hoped they wouldn't bust the strands off. Eventually I got the wire through! WOOHOO! Made all the connections, then went to test, and all the lights worked! I was happy that this nightmare was almost over ..... but then I notice a blue light in the instrument cluster mysteriously lit up. DAMMIT!! Hi beam indicator is now ON constantly - whether or not the lights, or the ignition is on. Great. No rhyme or reason, or any logical explanation for why this is happening. Probably related to the issue that caused the lights to cease functioning in the first place ...
Now I notice that the passenger side low beam mysteriously quit working. I ended up cutting that ground, & grounding it to a bolt for the bumper supports. Problem solved.
Now I begin my 3 hour saga to try & get the HI beam indicator to function the way it's supposed to. The thought crossed my mind to just say F*** it, & run it as is ... the lights worked .. good 'nuff! But that obsessive/compulsive part of me was gnawing at my brain .... I wouldn't be able to sleep if I left it like that. So now, out comes that instrument cluster, after removing 3 dash panels & unplugging another invention that has put GM engineers on my "LIST
" -- mulit pin connectors with hidden latches in the most inconvenient of spots ... usually opposite of where you can get your hands in. Unreal.
SO now I got the instruments out. I pop the plastic cover off the back & remove the twist-locked HI beam bulb/socket assembly. After some though, & some testing with the multimeter, I decided to place a strip of electrical tape over the contact for the bulb's ground, & install a wire from the back:
With some optimism, I plug the panel back in, then grab one of the dash panels with the headlight switch in it, & plug that back in. The damn light is still lit. WTF!!! Back to the drawing board. Just for shits & giggles, I figure I'll swap the tape to the voltage side & let it ground through the panel as normal. I do that, then hook everything back up again. Still doing same thing! With my limited electronics knowledge, I think resistors in line would somehow magically fix this. SO after un-soldering 3 different ones from a junk circuit board I had laying around, I learned by carrying the cat by the tail that resistors just limit current flow, & make the light DIMMER, yet still lit when it shouldn't be!! Oh well. Third time is a charm, as they say. Out with the panel, part 3 .......
Now I have to tape off BOTH power AND grounds, & stick TWO wires through the back of the cluster(F***). I do this, Install everything part 3, & run the power lead to the instrument panel dimmer fuse, & run the ground to my HI beam foot dimmer switch on the floor. SUCCESS!! The only strange issue is that when the parking lamps only are activated, the light comes on ...??? But when you turn the headlights on or off, all is normal. Go figure. Electricity doesn't care what direction it travels ......
I forgot to mention the 3 times during the installation of the cluster that it was tilted at some point, & caused the speedometer to peg to 100mph, & the fuel gauge to peg past Full, & almost at 6 O'Clock! After wasting time searching the net for this issue, I discovered that rotating the unit around will cause the needle to flop back to zero, where it belongs.
SO this was my Sunday. ANYONE WANT A '00 GMC JIMMY???