I want to tell you a story.....

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It all started when the cat streaked across the car windshield of Ozzy Ozbourne. His eye wide and mouth full of joints He summoned the demons and flew High into the banana tree and there he dwelled upon the implications brought by his actions and the cat was Cher nekkid as a jaybird with zebra tattoo's on her butt. Suddenly, without warning, a cloud of smoke appeared from out her pet albino elephant's trunk.

Ozzy then pulled the elephant's thoughts together then shoved them into the largest, stinkiest and ugliest maggot-infested road kill Known to us as a Renault LeCar and screeched away rapidly Just then, Ozzy woke-up! and realized Cher was a hairy man *atee that learned **********going to change the rules, you can append the ending of word to previous word, be sure to add an asterisk so I'll be able to do search and replace on it when I string the whole story together. FYI also if you want to comment or add something you can post your three words, hit the submit button, then hit the edit button and use the "Edit reason" for comments. knitting socks was very difficult unless you have the right bikini with extra muffler bearings and board strechers because the twinky gods get UPSET! But then, from out of nowhere Santa Claus appeared with a sleigh full of memorabilia from prior reindeer games.

Meanwhile, back at the banana cafe, Peewee Herman read the bible while playing with his little white rabbit and his big red dog named Bosephus. Pee-wee was a delusion of a celebration to the nursery department at the prison creamery. For example, he often deposited his famous handmade sauce onto Bubba's sandwich which tasted like a dorito with chunky snake spit. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jedd Clampit was showing Ellie-Mae his collection of antique well drilling diamond tool bits,when the bit he was fondling,amazingly just pierced into her very tight and Plump, well oiled swollen big round honey suckled pigsfoot. Cher then shouted TAKE IT!!! Ozzy was bananna drunk, ugly as sin, hanging his head and said to Santa, "Do you have any rubber biscuit's?

No, Santa said, I have big red bag, and it itches like Hillary's money maker,and when her monthly stimulus check comes, and Bill spends it on cigars and handiwipes she blames pee-wee from the theater when he pulled Ozzy's middle finger and, and Lady Ga Ga's G-string off. Lady GaGa told Hillary she likes it that way. But, Ozzie's snake dosn't, and he often licks toads to get high for Jerry Springer's hot intern. But then, Madonna pulls out her long fat succulent torpedo like pair of natural big toes. The aroma was just awful. It smelled like Hillary's mouth after a night of belly dancing and sword swallowing,but it tasted like Chicken.

All of up and down her leg did the mean while back at the ranch the other animals had secret talks about methane gas and Ozzie's severe diverticulitis, and reality television shows. But the main topic, was heating with the heat pamela anderson between her big and luscious warm firm and plump pet poodles have no reason to give me money for experimental political dog and pony feces. Meanwhile, Ozzy split his tounge so Pam & Cher could enjoy some long hot discussion about obama and pee-wee's idea of changing the constitution and Bill of Rights along with healthcare. failed to make BinLaden scared, Hillary 's panties bunched up and were crusty and contained skid-marks, but she insisted she's a lesbian Bill felt safe screwing around with fat sloppy pages, cause Hillary would not shut up.

So, Bill got a cigar and Played hide the cheroot in the back seat of pee-wee's bicycle built fer-two and both Madona's big, firm,and luscious nostrails wer flaring as the volcano erupted in pee-wee's mind. Meanwhile, Chelsea was recovering from plastic face surgery and it didn't help but dads wallet did and she went to London and shacked up with Three fat lesbians with a rainbow Winnabago that broke down in a coal mine they had to trick AL Gore (which is not so hard to do) for some di-lithium crystal's so they could warp outta da mine and find their way to D.C. so they could congratulate Obama and Oprah for converting to world to ebonics and rassah-farinisiam and be a better place for the Myan end in 2012. unless we stop them we will be tapioca pudding from a zit on a zombie that resembles Hillary and is more attractive than Rosie O'Donnel (that's not hard) but hates fish but smells like it as the puss runs out the door Hillary was wondering if Ozzy loves her ugly horse face and thunder thighs along with her slow drool and scabby mechinizm.

Meanwhile, Socks the cat mouthfull of joints again, was on the prowl in Madona's toy chest when he spyed many AA batteries, in Bill's pocket rocket cigar poker, Monica's gift smelly fat ass was blocking the football game being played at Washington Eagles vs. Redskins when a cheesesteak suddenly landed in pamela's plump picans a pile of pelosi! as madonna licked the coaldust off slick willy 's cotton candy then vomited all over Hillary's Nikes,meanwhile back at the meth lab, Monica, Bill, and Pee-wee mud wrestling for that tasty cigar and Monica's dress not to mention stain remover. Hillary wanted Pee-wee to munch some carpet but first, she bent over to MY BEAKER WAS kiss oprah's feet and show Pee-wee her Rosie O'Donnell pin and her big tattooed Ozzie Osborne bat head But I digress. Meanwhile, Poconoeagle was posting crazy pictures of all of his friends and farm animals! The Mayor of nepacrossroads was Pee-wee grabbed Gennifer's hoo haas and then let out a HURRRRahhhhh!! so Hillary flashed her newly inflated head, which was filled with visions of Ozzy and Cher doing the Nasty.

But it was just a socialist fantasy that she dreamed while pining for Pee-wees affection and Bill's slick willie. Then, Captain Kirk beemed up T'Pol, anxiously while visions of pendulous Klingon women who would pull his teeth because they get off on gums, and snort polydent for extra stanima during the gummy game But before that, in remotest Siberia, Vladimir Putin wrote a Romulan love manual with graphic pictures of Hillary and Pee-Wee riding a bicycle built for a clown , Obama's bicycle was powered by nuclear gas from oprah's big fat, stinky, and ugly va jay jay even the Klingons winced at the thought. of what lingered inside that crusty and smelly cavernous orifice of doom. with large dingleberrys that Pee-wee wanted to take to a theater and put them in his hat along with Hillary's falsies as Bill unzipped his saxophone case and played his organ while Hillary's taco dripped green chunky pus on to Mr T's doo Unfortunately, that didn't solve the problem while dripping sax juice on his shoes.

Hillary quickly licked bills boots clean while plotting her revenge with Ozzy's snake and bag of weed and palosi's water bong they smoked away the night then got naked with the Village people then sang YMCA with Bill in his leathers and Oprah,whip in hand, smacking Pee-wees little 2" lead pencil along with his I'm grossed out best friend Richard Simmons, who is a flamboyant wannabee politician,with an identity crisis and pink shorts with Pee-wee's picture on the rear. The world mud-wrestling champion ,Michelle Obama, said Rosie O'Donnell is too fat between the ears for Oprah to play pocket pool with Bill and Clarence Thomas. High in the bananna tree Barack, Michelle, and family were cramming banannas in each others secret third eye while Joe, Al, and and the rest of the Ponderosa crew were telling lies Ozzie was nodding off with a stain and a corn cob while Sharon yelled at Bill and socks the cat for trying to thread the moving donut while Pee-wee was vomiting in Hillary's drawers After about a week, Madonna decided Bill should clean up after Pee-Wee went wee wee on Hillary's new hat.

Pee Wee apologized for past and present while pondering his future Meanwhile back at the ranch Al Gore's internet patent was found to cause global confusion amongst highly educated but loathsom ground-dwelling empty-headed idiots marsupials who couldn't tell Bill from furniture polish-drinking cannibals with big noses and fat rear-ends exposed. But, really pee-wee is back to fondling his big dream of Herman Munster and Lilly went to wal-mart for a dozen batteries in various sizes for various uses which included Lilly's foot vibrator and coffee warmer and Marilyn's..... Pet parrots charriot which Spot ate while Cousin Itt watched until Spot burped up feathers. Afterward, he bought a cigar and lit Rosie O'Donnell's cigar with melted steel and shaked up with Madonna at the seven eleven then ordered a slurpee to share with Kang and Kodos Uncle Fester who had a boil festering since 9/11 on Hillary's fat bum with Bill's stain on Michele Obama's sweaty, nasty stank that barack enjoyed with bananna juice Oozing from an orifice too nasty to name mean while, john mccain was laughing at Obama because Michelle smelled Baraks silent but deadly atomic diarrhea fart which spewed goo on al gore's PRETTY GREEN TIE Gore used the goo as a tasty snack for Michael Moore and Al Franken they fought over Obama's crusty undies for Social soup sucking slum lord wanna be king pansy little girl and the rest of the liberal entourage.

the libs went to mcdonalds and ordered the green mcmeal and choked and puked up soilent green meanwhile on capital hill Harry Reid was blowing kisses at alec baldwin who gave Obama a wet willy And a itch for power and a case of the crabs that he shared with sarah palin who left immediately. Once the itching stopped, she went hunting for hot sausage to clean up any of those leftover ewww! that smells bad! And tastes nasty so it was decided To take a trip to Canada to seek treatment for anal-retentivinisim but got lost on the way in a dellusion of grander Canadians can't cure. nor want too because they are talking weird (like on south park) and sniffing glue. bill clinton called the cops to report his cheroot had turned into a joint he shared the joint with joe Biden and Alex Rodriguez while watching pee-wee and his porn collection and Barbie and Ken doll's along with G.I. Joe having a threesome while Hillary was french kissing Oprah and reaching around Nancy Pelosi just to shut her up and contain the stench of her selfish mind, but meanwhile MA congressman Barney Frank was smoking different meat and singing KUM-BAY-AAAHH at a Oscar-Meyer & Spam Rainbow parade in Provincetown.

They decided to streak across to Ogunquit for some tasty treats and bananna pudding, topped with special enzymes and cultures that they call Pee-wees crusty cream and genetic chowder. When Bill saw Rosie O'Donnell he went to find a stogie for Rosie to smoke but she only smokes when she thinks about liberal policies or Ellen Degenerate. Meanwhile, Pee-Wee's sticky hat was used as a spittoon for Rosie and to also hide Bill's pocket rocket But Al Gore visited Conan O'Brian to talk about bananna shaped butternut squash which was used by Hillary for Daughters special needs which excited Bill to no end. so they toasted marshmellows over Madonna's flat fireplace grate, so the coal stove had such a case of gass that it farted like palosi's mouth does and Harry Reed sniffed it and the aroma was gut-wrenching cabbage with Relosi's underarm cheese and Gore's carbon footprint creating a horrific stench. Behind his private jet John Edwards was unzipping his pants to expose his enormous putrid gangreen big toe whose oozing puss dribbled from the toe he injured when kicking the dog faced *censored* Bill had in his oval slave chamber and Hillary, barking like a dog and groveling at Bidens feet looking for toe-jam and coagulated puss when oprah in her thong giggled on by while choking creme doughnuts down and dribbling into her cleavage for the Enquirer's cameraman and Pee-Wee's rising difficulties.

Oprah loves Pee-Wee's bulge in his wallet and bow tie and strange stain on his G.I. Joe doll but I digress. Obama signaled for his bong and took a massive toke gacked on the teleprompter and passed the bong to Bill who inhaled for first time and keeled over onto his worm farm and broke out a break dance move like a slick snake he is and drove away [img:2id9ny2h]http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/stingthieves/obcare.jpg[/img:2id9ny2h] in a chevrolet hybrid and ran over Donald Trump who was face down in Rosie's rose garden but the bush was thorny and smelled of rotten fish cause Rosie reeks like her sister Gertrude Snodgrass, Bill's sweetheart with the lisp and huge, pendulous earlobes, also stinkin like Hillary's old toe jam Meanwhile Ozzie has been a naughty boy yet again cause Ozzie was peeking through his black veil at a mound of cocaine and thinking Rosie's ready for for a good plowing and spanking but Ozzie spotted Cher and his tongue got hard for Cher's nice firm slightly fuzzy and crusted navel and her long tan hairless festering & stinky boil in Flame Suit Central burst all over and made her say Ahhhhh while Pee-Wee drooled in anticipation of going to a movie to exercise his hand playing with his small and insignificant rope pool stick.

Pee-Wee, depressed over his failures in life decided to commit to a 28 day program for becoming a chick magnet and a bow tie addict so Madonna would suck start pee-wee's honda rebel and the chrome off a trailer hitch in richard simmons garage using his six step technique plush pink knee pads so comfortable Barney Frank can still wear his prom dress in pink spandex and chartruese with purple ballarina slippers like Obama's in China with the back trap door that Biden likes so much for shoving his agenda down the space between the buns while juggling profits and telling lies about Pee-Wee and Hillary Cher stomped her feet to kill the roaches which followed Rosie and Nancy as their odors and maggot minds attract them relentlessly to SOCIAL events as such but thats another story. for another day The alien space ship within ozzies mind,flew straight to the oval office and mind-melded with the first intelligent lifeform he found. He then exclaimed [b:2uyifpl6][size=150:2uyifpl6]Nan-nu Nan-nu[/size:2uyifpl6][/b:2uyifpl6]! followed by [size=150:37tau17q][b:37tau17q]SHAZ-BOT![/b:37tau17q][/size:37tau17q] Maxwell Smart then removed agent 99's jacket and closely inspected the rockets concealed beneath her brassiere which she handed to Mork. Max called the chief to take a look back into time in the land of the lost when men ruled politics and dinosaurs ate politicians and banannas,many banannas, till global warming sprouted petri dish cultures into Al Gore clones with hot air breath and sushi diarrhea tainted with a putrid odor for all to enjoy.

Joy Behar bent over to look at Pee-wee's buried treasure and was blinded by a spurting jet of sputum from Pee-wee's nose and his small and shriveled lack of manhood was enjoyed by A large zit on her butt with lots of puss performing mouth to mouth resuscitation on Michelle Malkin oops I'm finished with the gap-toothed ptarmigan called pelosi on the phone with Hulk Hogans wife and Number[url=http://nepacrossroads.com/about11876-1065.html#p148315:1i6xnc48]THREE[/url:1i6xnc48] from the right who passed wind and thru the skin folds conceled Max's shoe phone was 99's wet willie in Ozzie's ear OZZY rules out a few lines on the kitchen table as Bill rolls a C-note which Obama is making worthless so Hillary can pay off muslims for her sex change operation into a slithering sand skank and buy a new broom. with a very thick handle with splinters for easy riding grip during upsidedown manuvers or kinky sex with Pee-Wee or Monica or Rosie, Ellen, and Oprah's bunion cause Bill's to busy playing soak the cheroot and getting on the root with the harmonica queen in the oval office. But I like cigars and shag carpeting,cried Monica whilst dabbing the spot with club soda, cause blue ain't blue unless it's like glue now you funny too, but boo-hoo he done spew on you fat blue dress. Chris Farley joined the circus as a coke snorting Frank Zappa in the pudding room holding a mudshark by the hair of his nut sack Chris, lived in a van, a Volkswagen van DOWN BY THE RIVER, and traveled to Dead concerts By selling banannas that had been fermented by Bill and laced with LSD.

many hours have passed in a drug induced haze from the bananas that hold magical powers over ugly women with *censored* stained dresses and lesbian tendencies Hillary didn't mind she went to New Jersey to long beach island for a love vacation with Janet Reno and Ellen Degenerate in a rainbow haze given off by the spaceship Ozzie was flying with his feet cause his hands were somewhere else and then Chuck Norris decided kick Segal's butt which anyone could do with a wet noodle covered in slime taken from Bill's sloppy tissues Meanwhile, the Mounted Police pulled the saucer over and found Madonna nekkid with Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra and me then you woke up cause Rodman wuz buck nekkid eating eggs and that's enough to wake the dead. Now with zombies climbing thru windows and flinging pooo at Pelosi's face .

Pelosi grabs a gun and shoots Barney Frank in his small small wrinkled old string bean, which cannot do majic and never has. With ANY woman. So Mork and Mindy said to Johnathan Winters "Live-Long and Prosper" nanu-nanu Then he dropped dead from nancy's gas -powered Lipo-suction which Chris farley wanted to spread on his lungs by smoking rat feces in his VAN, while beating his head with ripe banannas and snorting Michael Moore's meth and year-old underwear crusties that blocked up his nose like coal dust He grabbed tissues from Hillary's stuffed push-up bra and blew the chunks out. Ozzie, who emerged from behind Arnold Schwarzenegger who was hiding behind Ronnie who was hiding behind 'W' who was hiding behind Rosie's big, fat left butt cheek because they saw a turd fall from an airplane ran to it and cried "MY BABY"! Ozzie then scooped the turd and cuddled it , corn and all, then asked Michelle O to give it mouth 2 mouth and she said that looks like barry's tiny pickle Madonna said, ewwww gerkins!!!

Cher took over said this is too old and needs new batteries she plunged herself into her work doing dirty deeds done dirt cheap cause shes a dirty girl that needs a bath in holy water blessed by a priest named Judas. Cher didn't like Judas cause he wasn't kinky enough so she jumped on a Bandwagon,drunk drove by tyra banks in a bananna suit and sequinned thong that was very thin over her hoop, but that kept it dry for hours while she practiced yodleing and churning butter. Tyra's lips were thin and and chapped but not for long cause Bill whipped out lip balm. In a small but long glasslike tube thingy with crack crystals Barack remembered college parties where he and Michelle were secret rock stars and in a drug induced haze talkin social smack while snorting each other's poop for the debate with Bill and Hillary on fake id's and cheating people and creative ballot box stuffing and thunder thighs, when Elvis said you aint nothin but a hound dog Bill chanted "right on!" while Spanking the baloney pony on Oprah's face. Oprah loved this alot and decided to become a pony pimpett and a porn star named minge but her stretch marks kept her out of the biz but not the celuloid Then oprah was shot full of botox and her face was coated with makeup to look pretty skinny but alas she a fat cow.

Achmahd the dead terrorist flew obama to his home country of Kenya but couldnt land since his passport was revoked cause alien's and liers dont fly spaceships internationally but Kirk does, so Mr Spock adjusted Madonna's buttons Jim, (James T.) comes thru a small hole actually a worm hole, in Madonna's backside and brings a big box of stogies for bill's fetish about fishy smells and majic tricks involving midgets and dogs and big skanks like Hillary meanwhile obama flys back to kenya to look for a bush bride without $500 sneakers but ended up with a jackal that looked like Michelle the gorilla faced flabby arm, looney wannabe adult woman but shes really nine years old and class-less like bill ayers Suddenly Ozzie coughed up a midget named Ouija, and boy does she ever have a big penis in her purse for for those times when there is extended man absentee in your life and battery-less flights on long dark trips through the white house basement to the first lady's chamber aka the dungeon where barry learns to OBEY!! He squeals and begs like in deliverance being hes a pig too, obama (i mean the pig) got into the WH garden and started to rut with old grey weasels and skank moles, when jimmy carter showed up with peanuts on his breath and yells at obama deliver me from being the worst leader till now and the end of time!

Barry cowered like a nerd being beat by a pocket protector on his skinny hiney and while genuflecting in the presence of praying to Muhammad asking forgiveness for being a bad president. Sarah was watching the view and Joy Behar spewing cause bozobarry looked funny with his mouth open because he saw joy naked and realized Tiger is right and white ain't right for bustin out windows with golf clubs, but crazy things happen when when mixing meth and dropping acid and smokin crack. Marion Berry who got re elected grabbed Madonna's left sweaty armpit hair and yanked hard causing a fluid drippage from Berry's burned out crank nose and the large festering boil he uses for a brain. Marion Berry's voters are crack zombies and dopers , physically addicted to politics as normal and presidents not born in the usa or college learned but what the hell marion's (stalker) evil eyes were burning holes into the W.H. for a real job offer he wants to be head of the fast talking rassa-frassa dept or the dea (wow over 1,000 posts in this thread now ) cause Ozzie's paranoia is up from all of the coca cola he snorted during his visits to Bill n Hillary's "Chamber", of dirty politics and garbage disposal stinks to high heaven as Bill cusses out Hillary (skank stank) and sucks up her vapors.

Those vapors gave him the runs and Richard Simmons ran walmart for fiber pills , Donnagel, & Pepto Bismol to and lotsa batteries for his new toy the slippery snake charmers on sale 9.99 Chuck Norris was admiring Michelle's naked body when he noticed a bad stench on Barry's new mustache because he received a Cleavland steamer from Uncle Bill Ayers the terrorist porn star with stinky brown fingers and a small wienie in a bun not of steel but of Barney Frank the under handed scurvy slime ball with scabby knees and flabby cheeks whipped red by Richard Simmons and his Po-pieles pocket fisherman dakota fanning complete with handcuffs pepper spray and other tasty condiments Cher lashed out in a fit of Jelousy with her whip attached to her belt with zebra stripes and signature leather thong ( ) her windmill strokes slapped the crap out of Barney frank and his four boyfriends while barry took lessons from ACORN on underage INTHUSIATE OBAMA PRASERS interested in underage prostitute trafficking and Nepalese midget strippers with three toes and no tonsils guest staring on Oprah's Midget Madness show sponsored by George Soros and bernie madoff, for public fleecing and general rape-ing because THEY know what's best for demoralization and a fun time for Bozo