A Lump of Coal for Christmas

Although my wife's been dead for more than 15 years, I have always insisted that my children have regular contact with the "outlaws". Far be it for me to deny them a family. Anyhow, it looks like we'll be spending Christmas day with the outlaws and I need some guidance. I was hoping to present them with the proverbial "lump of coal" as my gift. The problem is, I burn pea coal. A single piece of pea coal seems a bit stingy, even to me! I don't know how big a "lump" should be. Perhaps a heaping handful of pea coal in a mesh bag tied off with a ribbon would do. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?? Maybe gift certificates to Taco Bell??

I once gave my Uncle who collects mining artifacts a 400 Lb "lump"... One of those stories where you had to be there but his granddaughter who was about 4 at the time comes down the steps and sees the coal and her eyes get about as big saucers... "Whoa who got that?" she says. Grandmother responds your Grandpa, she takes long look at Grandpa and goes "You must have been really bad!" ... Like I said you had to be there but everyone that was in the room just about fell out of their chairs.

Anyhow, I've considered doing a Christmas stocking/lump-o-coal service as I'm sure it would go over nicely especially at this time of the year but just like my many other ideas not enough time....

Considering getting a lump would be pretty hard since you don't live in the area maybe if you made something up with the pea coal... Maybe if there was something in particular you could put it in besides a stocking? Ceramic stocking maybe?

That is all I asked for last year was Coal, perferrably 50# bags!!

Several years ago I found a place on the Net that sold lumps of anthracite for stockings. They also sold BIG lumps as landscape decoration. I don't have the link bookmarked, or even remember vaguely the name of the place.

I'd guess a Google search would turn them up if they still exist.

Chris

One year when we were first married, the wife had it in her head to get diamond earings.... which I ignored.

Then when Christmas came, I dropped a couple lumps of nut coal into her stocking. When she got up, she ran over, felt the stiocking, thought it was a box with the earings, and excitedly dumped it out.

It didnt go good after that, and its still a sore subject!