Today's Humorous Phrase

This one was popular when I was in high school back in the seventies.

"Pardon me sir, but you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *censored*."

I used to say to my old dispatcher, "You know once in a while I like to be kissed while I am getting screwed."

My grandmother used to say. He talks like he's got a paper Azzhole. God I miss her!

A couple summertime favorites:

Sweating like a fat girl at a free buffet.

Sweating like a whore in church.

And when someone is giving me a hard time:

If I wanted any *censored* out of you, I'd have squeezed your head!

To disparage some one (like a supervisor) a co-worker would say, "Even a broken clock is right twice a day."

Another classic:

"Put that where the sun don't shine"

or

"All I want to see is asses and elbows"

or as a (female) friend used to say

"It's colder than a witches tit out there..."

mr1precision wrote:My grandmother used to say. He talks like he's got a paper Azzhole. God I miss her!

That was one of my dad's favorites too. I don't know where he got it from.

A friend’s father would say this about a machine or devise that would not work as it was supposed to.
“They need to make two more of these, one for the Smithsonian and another to shove up the guy’s ass who invented it”

How about the old saying, " scarcer then hen's teeth!! "

Not to mention:

"Harder than a Grave Digger's Shovel."

Bob

" Nothing to write home about"

This sucks more than Monica lewinski.

Life sucks , then ya die. Have fun when your here. I only wanted to have some fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

good idea sting that was sliker than deer gut s on a door knob

To any and all apropriate situations:

If I had wanted your opinion I would have beaten it out of you.