$185 to $191 will get you a ton of top notch, exquisitely superlative Blaschak black diamonds. These rare diamonds are hand-hewn, one finely faceted piece at a time, from the operating depths of the St. Nicholas breaker in Mahanoy City--the heart of the heart of Anthricite itself. Presently there is a special opportunity to own a few tons of these cherished gemstones by joining with your fellow coal cracker, Lola Coalfire, in the purchase of a high-lift's worth of nut. Whether oiled or plain is specified, these select exhibits of Anthricite at its finest will arrive at your door beautifully gift wrapped and compartmentalized in a gold-plated high-lift. Be the envy of your friends as you flaunt your glistening Blaschak originals. Watch their faces glow, as hearts grown cold from coal envy warm with the living embers within your stove--the final repository of your savvy coal investment. Act now and feel the BTUs, laugh at the thought of a clinker, and simply puff away the fine white ash into decorative arrangements for Christmas!
To qualify for this limited offer, candidate(s) must live in NE PA.
If THAT advertisement doesn't work...
I find I need 2 more ton in Pocono Pines. Mengle's in Weatherly, the closest Blaschak guys I know of, will deliver a minimum of 4 tons. So I'm hoping someone within spitting distance (spitting north and spitting south) of the direct route between Weatherly and Pocono Pines would like to collaborate? Lemme know if you are interested!