Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: mr1precision On: Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:34 am

Just got this in an email. Read on...

For those of you who have never been to"Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future.


Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street , no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square , no water on Water Street . Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington , Berkeley , Clarendon, Dartmouth , etc. So are South Boston streets:

A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill . If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley .
Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave ; Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave ;

South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End . The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
**Say it wrong, be shunned**

Worcester : Wuhsta (or Woostah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester Lesta
Woburn : Woobin
Dedham : Dead-um
Revere : Ra-vee-ah
Quincy : Quinzee
Tewksbury : Tooks berry
Leominster : Lemin-sta
Peabody : Pee-ba-dee
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham : Chaddum
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summerset!

Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
"Pop" is DAD.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for TONIC WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $7/pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a spucky, a hero or grinder,... it's a sub.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs; Franks are money in Switzahland.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza". If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza". It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic. It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary. "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.

The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins
The Pat's =The Patriots

Things not to do:

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they'll tow it to Meffa ( Medford ) or Summahville (Somerville) .
Don't sleep on the Common. ( Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should know:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings

(one old, one new for each).

The colored lights on top the old Hancock building tell the weatha':

"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - except in summer;

flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!

Most people live here all their life and still don't know what the hell is going on with this one.

Route 128 South is I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.

The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).



Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians.. . think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
Bostonians.. ..think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's)

except in "idea".

Bostonians.. .think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians.. .refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
Bostonians.. .always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.
Bostonians.. .believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians.. .think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians.. .think Rhode Island accents are annoying.

Send this to your friends who don't live in Boston (and the ones who do!!)
mr1precision
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman-Anderson AA-130

Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: ray in ma On: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:11 pm

Tourist Guide to Food:

You get Kahfe at Dunkies and Regular comes with 2 sugahs and cream
You can only get Bulkies on Wata Street in Wista
You buy booze in a paky or go to NH to skrew the guvna out da taxes
Food used to come from the Grocery store, now it comes from the supah mahket
Some Supah Mahkets sell beer and wine
If its on your ice creamthey are called Jimmies not sprinkles
You know where syrup comes from and even know how to make it

More Driving Tips:
Its called the PIKE you freakin troll! and keep up with the damm traffic
Speed limit signs are viewed as suggestions
If everybody's jammin on thier brakes there a trupah up there (and they will slow down to 10 miles less that the suggested speed limit)
RIGHT ON RED you MORON
Yellow lights mean peg it!
City folk will use an old lazyboy recliner to mark thier parking spots in the winter. If you remove it you are taking your lif into your own hands.
If you live east of 128 you think everything west of 128 is part of New York,
If you live west of 495 you do everything in your power to avoid going east of 495 (unless you are going to the Cape)
Don't look at the other driver when you are merging (this is a sigh of submission and they will just as soon cut you off or hit you)
ray in ma
 
Stove/Furnace Make: Alaska
Stove/Furnace Model: Kodiak

Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: JB Sparks On: Sat Jun 12, 2010 9:19 am

Can't think of a thing ya missed, purdy good...oh geesh there's an R in that word.
JB Sparks
 
Stove/Furnace Make: Harman - Chubby
Stove/Furnace Model: Harman: SF160 - Chubby Sr.


Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: SMITTY On: Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:02 am

:lol:

I saw a few of those printed out when I was living in AZ. Everyone always assumed I was from NY or NJ .... I'd tell them MA & they'd say "I knew it was around there". :lol:

I went to an ice cream place in Phoenix and told them to throw some jimmies on it .... they, & everyone in the place looked at me like I had 4 heads! :funny: I said, "Sorry I'm from MA ... the place that produced the Kennedy's. Even our vocabulary is corrupt". Got the whole place laughing at that one. ;)
SMITTY
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Patriot Coal - custom built by Jim Dorsey
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Harman Mark III (not currently in use)
Coal Size/Type: Rice / Blaschak anthracite
Other Heating: Oil fired Burnham boiler

Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: wlape3 On: Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:11 am

SMITTY wrote::lol:

I saw a few of those printed out when I was living in AZ. Everyone always assumed I was from NY or NJ .... I'd tell them MA & they'd say "I knew it was around there". :lol:

I went to an ice cream place in Phoenix and told them to throw some jimmies on it .... they, & everyone in the place looked at me like I had 4 heads! :funny: I said, "Sorry I'm from MA ... the place that produced the Kennedy's. Even our vocabulary is corrupt". Got the whole place laughing at that one. ;)


They call them "Jimmies" down in Philly too. Not sure why. Maybe it is a mainliner thing associated with old money :roll:
wlape3
 
Stove/Furnace Make: Alaska
Stove/Furnace Model: 140 auger, forced hot air

Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: freetown fred On: Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:56 pm

right over the hill in Taylor,home of the yearly truck/mud pulls,population 4 or 5 people :D & our closest ice cream place--they call em sprinkles--same in Whitney Point(home of the yearly or not,dependin on ice thickness, winter crappy derby) :lol:
freetown fred
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
Coal Size/Type: BLASCHAK Nut/Stove mix

Re: Tourist's guide for the Bawstin area.

PostBy: wlape3 On: Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:05 pm

freetown fred wrote:right over the hill in Taylor,home of the yearly truck/mud pulls,population 4 or 5 people :D & our closest ice cream place--they call em sprinkles--same in Whitney Point(home of the yearly or not,dependin on ice thickness, winter crappy derby) :lol:


Yeah, that's what I used to call'em when I was a kid. I think it's pretty much the same everywhere upstate. The only real differences I found in foods is soda is "pop" in Buffalo and around here and central NY they call milk, "melk". I kind of got away from that when I left Syracuse area.
wlape3
 
Stove/Furnace Make: Alaska
Stove/Furnace Model: 140 auger, forced hot air