A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and
them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard
To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow
The bartender screams at the guy, 'Did you see what your monkey just
'He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!'
'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy, 'he eats everything
sight, the little bum. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff.'
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats
the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it
and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. 'Did you see what your monkey did now?'
'No, what?' replied the man.
'Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it
out, and ate it!' said the bartender.
'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy. 'He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball,
he measures everything first.