How about a joke thread?

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: joeq On: Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:49 pm

OH!, my Mopar buddy's not gunna like that one. :lol:
joeq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: G111, Southard Robertson
Stove/Furnace Make: Thermopride
Stove/Furnace Model: oil fired

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: Waswood On: Sun Dec 13, 2015 9:18 am

An old married couple were sitting on the porch one night just rocking in their chairs and enjoying the weather when the elderly wife reached over and smacked the husband. What the heck was that for he ask ? She replied that's for having a little pecker! The old man went back to rocking for a minute when he reached back over and smacked his wife. What was that for she ask? He replied that's for being able to tell the difference !
Waswood
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS 160

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: SWPaDon On: Mon Jan 11, 2016 10:37 pm

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
SWPaDon
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1600M
Coal Size/Type: Bituminous
Other Heating: Oil furnace

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: SWPaDon On: Wed Mar 16, 2016 8:13 pm

Day Off:


Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see."
She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
SWPaDon
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1600M
Coal Size/Type: Bituminous
Other Heating: Oil furnace

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: joeq On: Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:09 pm

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joeq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: G111, Southard Robertson
Stove/Furnace Make: Thermopride
Stove/Furnace Model: oil fired

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: davidmcbeth3 On: Thu Mar 17, 2016 12:52 am

wat comes after 75?

76.

That's the spirit !

i STOLL dis joke
davidmcbeth3
 
Coal Size/Type: nut/pea/anthra
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Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: rberq On: Thu Mar 17, 2016 3:31 pm

davidmcbeth3 wrote:wat comes after 75?
76.
That's the spirit !
i STOLL dis joke

:sick: I think somebody left it lying around hoping you would take it.
rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300 with hopper
Coal Size/Type: Blaschak Anthracite Nut
Other Heating: Oil hot water radiators, propane

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: davidmcbeth3 On: Thu Mar 17, 2016 4:48 pm

rberq wrote:
davidmcbeth3 wrote:wat comes after 75?
76.
That's the spirit !
i STOLL dis joke

:sick: I think somebody left it lying around hoping you would take it.

Nyuk , nyuk, nyuk !
davidmcbeth3
 
Coal Size/Type: nut/pea/anthra
Stove/Furnace Make: Hitzer
Stove/Furnace Model: 503

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: Rick 386 On: Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:31 am

> Dear Abby,
>
> My husband hasn't worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get
dressed
> in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies.
>
> I know he`s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his

> granddaughters. I know because he brags about this to me.
>
> He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and

> night. We sleep in separate beds because he's always telling me he
> knows I`m a lesbian and my varicose veins and ugly face turn him off!
>
> Should I clobber him with my frying pan, or should I leave him, Abby?
>
> Your advice would be appreciated
>
> Mad as Hell
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>
> Dear Mad as Hell,
>
> You don`t have to take that kind of treatment from any man. I suggest
> you pack your bags and move out a.s.a.p.!
> Don`t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan, and try to act
> like a lady!
>
> Remember....... You`re running for President of the United States, so
> try acting like it!
> ABBY
Rick 386
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: AA 260 heating both sides of twin farmhouse
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: LL Hyfire II w/ coaltrol in garage
Coal Size/Type: Pea in AA 260, Rice in LL Hyfire II
Other Heating: Gas fired infared at work

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: SWPaDon On: Thu Apr 14, 2016 11:17 am

toothy :rofl:
SWPaDon
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1600M
Coal Size/Type: Bituminous
Other Heating: Oil furnace

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: jpete On: Thu May 12, 2016 11:20 am

I'm doing research into beastiality between man and dogs.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my lab.
jpete
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Harman Mk II
Coal Size/Type: Stove, Nut, Pea
Other Heating: Dino juice

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: SWPaDon On: Sat May 14, 2016 9:13 pm

A Snake and a Rabbit

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the point where the pathways meet. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.

The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit.

After a few moments, he announced, “You’ve got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!”

The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake’s body for a few minutes, he asserted, “Well, you’re scaly, you’re slimy, you’ve got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you’ve got a forked tongue. I think you’re a lawyer!”
SWPaDon
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1600M
Coal Size/Type: Bituminous
Other Heating: Oil furnace

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: rberq On: Tue May 17, 2016 7:07 pm

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rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300 with hopper
Coal Size/Type: Blaschak Anthracite Nut
Other Heating: Oil hot water radiators, propane

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: lsayre On: Tue May 17, 2016 7:14 pm

I like it!
lsayre
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: AHS S130 Coal Gun
Coal Size/Type: Blaschak Anthracite Pea
Other Heating: Resistance Boiler (13.5 KW)

Re: How about a joke thread?

PostBy: coaledsweat On: Tue May 17, 2016 8:17 pm

I LOLed!
coaledsweat
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 260M
Coal Size/Type: Pea

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