You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch: Corrupt a Wish Foundation

Granted! Your house burns down while the hot coal makes it's way to the center of the earth. The good news is they name the resulting volcano after you.

I wish women thought like men.

Granted, too bad your garage is now full of broken hair dryers, curling irons, toasters and vacuum cleaners(that will get fixed one day).
I wish i knew why my chickens aren't laying eggs in this cold weather.

Granted !!! You are now a chicken gynecologest I wish I could fly.

Granted! But you don't know how to land and freeze and suffocate at 100,000 feet altitude! I wish we would nuke Caracas, Teheran, and Islamabad.

Granted. But your long-lost cousin was there and left you a million dollars but his will and the bank records were incinerated.

I wish I had a slave to bring in the coal for me.

Granted: your wife is pregnant with quintuplets. I wish I knew why the chicken crossed the road?

Granted, to get to the other side for the free beer! I wish I knew how to figure out women?

There are some things even God himself can't figure out But still granted !!! You will be in need of a box of tampons, it's your time of the month!!! I'm going to bed, I wish I get a good night's sleep.

Granted! But, you slept too long and you're now 88 years old. Even Viagra doesn't work on you!

I wish the Patriots could win this year's Superbowl!!!

sterling40man wrote:I wish the Patriots could win this year's Superbowl!!!

Granted...but they weren't IN the game......they won the bet they made on the game!

I wish my Axeman Anderson would empty it's own ashes.

Freddy wrote:I wish my Axeman Anderson would empty it's own ashes.

Granted. Your living room is now full to the ceiling with ash.
I wish my three pendulum clocks would all ring at the same time more than once.

Granted! But your pendulums set up a resonance effect a la Tesla, and your house shifted off its foundation! I wish I could eat a whole pizza like I used to.

Granted! You are not getting any younger, the pizza's are just gettin' smaller. I wish I had X-ray vision

Granted -- how is that new condo in Chornobyl working out for you


(Chornobyl is an abandoned city in northern Ukraine)


I wish I had a new fork truck to move all these gosh darn pellets because I blew my mast seal out Saturday.

Granted. But its name is Christine, and Stephen King will write another book about it.
I wish my TV was bigger.