You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch: Corrupt a Wish Foundation

Granted! You are now in the 98 percent tax bracket.

I wish that idiot IT security guy who shuts off our web access to everything we need to do our jobs, would come and sit on my 5th floor window sill for a minute.

Granted! After a minute on what used to be your window sill, he sits down at what used to be your desk to do what used to be your job.

I wish I all of my Christmas shopping was done.

Granted. You no longer have any friends and family members evacuate for the holidays.

I wish politicians could be prosecuted for lying and there actually was some justice for corrupt politicians. Hanging would be my first choice

Granted! There is justice, and you even get to watch- in person!- as their sentences are carried out. BTW, you're in hell.

I wish my house had more insulation.

Granted. It is buried in fluffy, insulating volcanic ash.

I wish I had three wishes.

Granted, none will come true ,but that $0.03 you threw in the fountain will help the store keepers wish come true,$$$. I wish all the children of the world peace and happyness. DON'T mess this one up, corrupt the adults of the world instead.

Granted A large group of corrupt politicians just bought the property next door and are building a sewage treatment plant.

I wish I had 72 virgins without having to blow up a bus full of children first.

Duengeon master wrote:
I wish I had 72 virgins without having to blow up a bus full of children first.

Granted. All 72 are ninety-seven year old nuns.

I wish I had a new house with a large garage and ten acres of land.

Granted, but the Monopoly game wasn't quite over and Bank of Armenia foreclosed on everything you own. I wish i had more than a dollar bill in my wallet.

Granted, but now your wife has your wallet.
I wish I didn't have to work for a living.

Granted. The Govt. will pay your way. Now you live in the projects with the gangbangers, pervs, etc.

I wish my house was larger!!

Granted, you now live in a McMansion with plenty of room for the in-laws.

I wish there wasn't a giant stack of rough cut wood in the garage that needs to be planed, shaped, sanded, cut and painted for molding.

Granted! You never learned the craft of woodworking and the immense joy it brings.
I wish I knew what is wrong with the Whirlpool Model # TGDS840PQ1 Gas dryer that won't say a word.

Granted now you know It is really a gas turbine ready to fly away.

I wish I had a coal bin in my basement.

Granted

built from the pile of wood from Richards Garage

and he just handed you the 6 figure - Bill of Material

I wish I knew how to find a decent woman that didn't also have the propensity to drive me nuts.