Politically-Corrected Classic Book Titles

In light of the new edition of Huckleberry Finn with the "N" word replaced by the word "slave", one of my humor magazines asked its readers to give another classic book a politically correct title. Here are some of the winners:

First Prize: The Still-Productive Senior And The Sea

Second Prize: Crime and Time Out

Third Prize:
The Traumatic Result of Unresolved Labor Management Disputes On The Bounty

Some of the Honorable Mentions:
1. Romeo And Romeo
2. The Taming Of The High Maintenance Woman
3. The Flat Back-Challenged Bell Ringer Of Notre Dame
4. The Cranially Absent Horseman
5. Lady Chatterly's Friend With Benefits
6. Ms. Bovary
7. The Heart Is a Lonely Animal Assassin
8. The Friend You Haven't Met
9. Are You There, Higher Power? It's Me, Margaret
10. The Letter Carrier Always Rings Twice
11. Conflict And Peace
12. To Put To Sleep A Mockingbird
13. The Call Of The Natural Habitat
14. Crime And Corrective Detention
15. The Grapes of Anger Management

And my personal favorite: Moby Penis

Here's one , LADY OF THE EVENING, LADY OF THE EVENING, LADY OF THE EVENING, you know santa claus (winter holiday person) can't say HO HO HO anymore.

Personally I think Lenny Bruce had the right idea. If you don't censor certain words and and honestly talk about them they loose their ability to hurt and degrade people. If your buddy calls you an a**h*** how upset do you get? Redneck gets used so often i don"t think anybody gets offended anymore

Does this mean we'll now be playing "Cowboys and native americans"? I think so

Shouldn't #12 read "To Humanely Euthanize a Mockingbird"?

What about, "One Flew Over the Emotionally Dysfunctional's Residence" (awesome book and movie, by the way)

Lighten up DUDE

heartofcoal wrote:Does this mean we'll now be playing "Cowboys and native americans"? I think so

one little two little three little....... native americans
Well.... that's just not gonna work.

I have a business partner. I can no longer say "my partner" do to political correctness.
When you say "my partner" it leaves the door wide open to speculation.
So nowadays I have to say "this is my business partner, Tim"
And that my friends....... is BULLSHIT

freetown fred wrote:Lighten up DUDE

heartofcoal wrote:Does this mean we'll now be playing "Cowboys and native americans"? I think so

I will not play on the native american thing, I don't want a black eye from freetown fred BUT YOU CAN'T SAY COWBOYS, it's COWPERSONS,you don't want to offend any of the better looking sex out there.

I stand corrected...... cowpersons it is.
We don't have rodeo clowns anymore either. Now they're Bull fighters I believe. I love the PBR
Sorry if I offended you Fred, I certainly would'nt do that on purpose
Besides, I don't need a black eye...... I have enough problems

My grandmother told me I have some native american in my blood from family near Binghamton NY

Just heard a new one

Economically challenged

Don't be silly. I don't get offended. Don't confuse Native American witrh all those other ficticious WHATEVER-Americans PLUS, I know exactly where Haverhill is

heartofcoal wrote:I stand corrected...... cowpersons it is.
We don't have rodeo clowns anymore either. Now they're Bull fighters I believe. I love the PBR
Sorry if I offended you Fred, I certainly would'nt do that on purpose
Besides, I don't need a black eye...... I have enough problems

My grandmother told me I have some native american in my blood from family near Binghamton NY

Happy Holidays.

I still remember the day my boss handed me that memo with the "sign-off" sheet. I looked at the memo and then at the piece of paper that read: "I ______ will say Happy Holidays." or something to that effect.

I laughed. Took the memo grabbed his trash can, put the memo along with the sign-off sheet in the can and said, "Merry Christmas" and walked away.

Good for you

I'm On Fire wrote:Happy Holidays.

I still remember the day my boss handed me that memo with the "sign-off" sheet. I looked at the memo and then at the piece of paper that read: "I ______ will say Happy Holidays." or something to that effect.

I laughed. Took the memo grabbed his trash can, put the memo along with the sign-off sheet in the can and said, "Merry Christmas" and walked away.

Me and the wife went to the country music festival at Gillette stadium about four years ago.
Big & Rich came on stage and had the entire stadium stand up and join in on The pledge of allegiance. That was awesome!
Everyone raised they're voices when it came to "One nation, under God"
Ya gotta love country music
Wonder if they do that at the rap concerts? Yea.... right.