SMITTY wrote:But this nagging question is stuck in my mind: why would your wife .. or anyone ... agree to lie about their income in order to get a house? The other nagging question is: why on earth would anyone even THINK of getting anything but a traditional, 30 year mortgage? Was she about to live on the streets with the kids if you didn't buy the house that instant?
I've known my wife since we were 2. Her older sister and my older sister were best friends. But, my wife and I didn't start dating until 2005. At the time she bought this house, which I believe was in 2004 I was living in Colorado. I had another life. I moved back in 2005 after I made some very bad decisions (of which I've paid for). So, as to why? I don't know. I don't know what was going through her head.
But I also have a question. How does a new home buyer know? Seriously. A new home buyer doesn't know what they are getting themselves in. Especially when they have nothing to base the decision on. For example. My bad decision that led me back to Jersey from Colorado involved a poor one to go to Michigan. But, I didn't know that until I made the decision and it cost me my home in Colorado and job. How could I have known the woman I was dating at the time was going to take me for everything I had? I didn't. So, how could my wife have honestly known that what she did in '04 to get into this house was going to screw her and us into the position we're now in, 7 years later? She couldn't have possibly known. And to say that "You put yourself in this position" is absolutely ludicrous. On one hand, yes, the decision to buy the home has ultimately put us in this position but at the time, since she was a first time home buyer she could have never known. Responsibility lies on the realtor, loan officer, lawyer and bank to tell her the risks. Of which, they did not. They say $$$$ and that's that.
To also put our lifestyle in perspective for everyone here.
She paid $167k for this house. Its a single level ranch sitting on maybe 1/4 acre of land. Anyone who has been to my home, and there are several from this very board can tell you. It's not a nice home. When we had money we started renovating. So, walls are missing or partially constructed, there are holes in the ceiling, walls where they were cut to run wire. The house itself was built in 1948. Its drafty. The kitchen is large enough to fit 1 person. The floor creak. The floors sag in spots. The oil furnace is 40 years old, barely works (which is the main reason we've switched to coal). The septic system needs to be replaced as it no longer functions properly (but we don't have $50k to replace it). The kitchen sink "vapor" locks since there is no vent on it. We own 3 vehicles. One a 2011 Hyundai Accent that is too small for our family, but its all we can afford. A 1999 Dodge Dakota that is completely paid for but is showing signs of its age. A 1999 Dodge Neon that I bought long before I was married (I was 19 when I bought it) it too is completely paid for, I put a lot of money into this car and when my wife and I began to notice we were in trouble the car was dismantled and sold off in parts. I've withdrawn from my 401k several times to pay the mortgage as well as completely closed another 401k that I had from a previous job. My wife has done the same thing, in fact she is on her third "hardship" loan through her 401k. Our home, like yours Smitty routinely sees mice, squirrels, bats even a ground hog has found its way into it. To think that my wife and I own a McMansion and drive several Mercedes is stupid. To say we are standing in a line with our hand out is false. For several years we've been doing this on our own. We however are exhausting all of our options.
You both claim you that, "you are sorry to hear" and "we're not trying to give you a hard time" but in every one of your posts you've both been very condescending. Don't either of you realize that my wife and I already know we've *censored* up? I mean, hasn't it been obvious that we've been struggling for two years trying to fix this ourselves from my "rant"? Do you honestly think I want to be in this position? Do you think I want to spend money I really don't have to buy a lawyer and file for Chapter 13? Trust me, this isn't something that was planned 7 years ago. No one plans to be in this position; unlike you claim. I don't need either of you sitting on your high-horses screaming at me that, "you did this your self. It's your fault the country is the way it is". There have been others in this thread that have basically said the same things as you but they've done it in a more polite way, and I've been more than happen to try to explain it to the best of my knowledge. I never said I completely understand whats happening or why I'm where I am. All I know is that I need to fix it and get out of it. But to do that, yes, I need outside help. If big business can cut into my 401k and my tax money to get out of the same mistakes that I'm currently making then why can't I? Why the double standard? Oh, because its someone that you've both had conversations with on the forum in the past. Its different when you can put a "face" to the problem. Its ok to spend your money to bail out, TARP and golden parachute AIG, BoA, GM, Chrysler because you aren't physically connected to anyone there. But here, we have a common interest. Coal. Why the *censored* should your money help me I should've been smart enough. Sorry, the reality is that I don't have the clairvoyance or Jedi abilities as you two. If the world was as perfect as the both of you then there wouldn't be nearly 2 million people in the same position. Sorry to disappoint. But this is the reality of the world we live in. Get used to it. It sucks that I have to do this. I'm pissed because for 7 years I've watched my money go to fix everyone elses' problems in the corporate world and yet, when I need a "bail" out I'm told to *censored* off. You think I haven't felt the effects of corporate dishonesty? I work for Tyco Int. The jack offs who started it all with Enron. Those *censored* took my money in 200/1 and squandered it while I worked for them. One idiot is in prison for life, the other ate a bullet in his office. Yeah, I'm pissed. Regardless of what either of you think, I am entitled to owning a home, raising a family and making an honest living. And up until this point, I think I've done a damn good job if it weren't for the dishonesty in the housing market. Sure, mistakes were made. Don't I *censored* know it, my wife does too. But we don't need to be told it's our fault and we need to take whatever punishment is due to us when we were put in this position by a loan officer, a bank and a realtor. Yup, my wife shouldn't of signed the loan papers. Hind-sight is 20/20. Too bad 7 years ago she didn't know. No one was there to tell her how wrong it was. Especially when the loan officer, bank and realtor were telling her, "Its normal, SOP." Again I ask, who is really to blame? It's the system that was created that put 2 million people and several countries into this position. Sorry. If AIG wasn't bailed out the world economy would crumble. Funny, AIG was bailed out and the world economy is still falling. Just slower. AIG should have been left to die. Same with Chrysler and GM and all those other golden parachuting *censored*. They created this mess. Not me. But everyone has to clean it up. Including myself.
My mortgage has been sold at least 3 times before ending up at BoA, it may have been sold more but we were only told of two times. And we only found out about the first time when we were making payments to one company that was cashing our checks but not applying the money to the account. It just disappeared. I surmise it was going into some *censored* pocket.