Bed wetting 7 year old

This is a strange situation to me but I trust you guys and gals so I thought I would run it by everyone.

I have a 7 year old nephew whose parents are to the point where they are considering paying $2800 for an "expert" to solve this problem with a six month program. They also have a 4 and a 6 year old with bed wetting issues too
Does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation?
They don't know of any history of this in either family....none of my kids had this issue.
They have tried bed wetting alarms.
Not letting them drink to much liquid before bedtime.
Getting up in the night to take them to the bathroom.
Tried everything they can think of.
Specialists have said there is nothing wrong with bladder etc.
Doctor says "they'll grow out of it"....maybe it's that simple but I just hate to see them spend that kind of money on this.

rockwood wrote:Doctor says "they'll grow out of it".

There ya go. It takes huge patience to be a parent.

I had neighbors that had a son with this issue....yup, it's a more boy's than girls thing. They spent the $2,800 and more. I think they spent more like 5 grand before they gained more patience. The wetting stopped....gosh... I can't quite remember, at 9 or 11? The most difficult thing is to not let it effect the child. There's a big difference between saying to the child "You wet the bed" and "It happens, let's get breakfast". It's not something the child has any control over. It's OK to tell the child that it doesn't happen to most kids, it's not OK to blame the child. Just make it a morning ritual to change the bed.
Here's an article with some statistics: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/ ... 923&page=2

Well said Freddy!

I know two people in my extended family that had this problem, I believe the one stopped around 9 or 10 and the other around 7 or 8. Have they researched any data on how successful the "specialists" are? Personally I'd skip the specialist, just about anything they could possibly do is going to be found on the internet unless they are prescribing drugs or are psychologists in which case I wouldn't let them anywhere near my kid for this issue.

I would be willing to bet that 6mo program will probably cause more problems in the childs life later than what it will fix now. Then the parents frustation will grow when the problem still continues and it will be taken out on the kids after all the money is spent.


Just my two cents, Eric

I like all the responses. If they continue to focus on the physical event/events, the parents will create a hysteria in the household.
I don't believe for a second that throwing money at the problem will do anything but focus more attention on the issue.
Sometimes things stop when LESS focus is the plan. Kinda like the incredible ways people BEAT a topic to death on this forum.....another small issue......(not this topic)
I know one thing, 'stirring the pot' does not necessarily make a better stew. Slow and steady allows change to occur on it's own timetable.
Kinda like the learning curve with burning black rocks. Embrace it, don't FIGHT IT. It's tough enough to be a kid anyway, don't make it worst. My $.02

Thanks everyone for your wise and thoughtful advise. I told my wife we would get good advise from here!
We plan to "delicately" share these ideas with the parents. I'm just worried that they won't listen and spend money they don't have...they are planning to take out a loan to pay for this

It's much cheaper to leave the plastic on the mattress than to pay for a "specialist".

That's another word I hate -- right up there with "psychiatrist", & "lawyer".

They all mean "overpaid guesser" in American Indian.

I had a friend with a young boy with a bed wetting problem. The mattress was protected with a plastic cover and it was the boy's responsibility to get the wet sheets in the washing machine. No big deal was make of the problem and he grew out of it. It taught responsibility for your mistakes at an early age. Sleep overs were a problem discussed with the other parents before they occurred. Some parents understood, some didn't. He just took his own protected sleeping bag.

whistlenut wrote:Kinda like the incredible ways people BEAT a topic to death on this forum.....another small issue......(not this topic)

HAHAHAHA I love that! I know I'm part of that problem.

I can't offer any advice except protect the child's self-esteem at all costs. And I don't mean the cost of overpriced professionals. I have a quote I heard, it might be from Hippoctates or some ancient philosopher:

" It is the physician's responsibility to amuse the patient while nature heals the malady."

When I was in way early schooling--I wet the bed--oh shut up --anyway, when I did, my job was to take the sheets & hang them on the line which was real visible from the road/school bus when it came to pick me up--it did not take me long to get over the bed wetting problem. would Dr Phil say it was OK to refer to it as a problem???Geeeeze, I'm not sure. Preserve self esteem??? Good lord, I'm amazed that any of us older guys made it through life without being psychologically whacked between all the ass whoopins & old school behavioural mod. things that we had to endure--it strikes me we are raising kids today to be totally unprepared for the real world. That is, if they ever get to move out of Mommy's & Daddy's. Phew, I feel better, thanks for listening. PS, I wonder if anybody at the sleep over knew that somebody wet the bed, or maybe just figured that the house always smelled like PEE!

A complication of circumcision is the narrowing of the metus (pee hole) that can make it hard to compleatly empty the bladder you might suggest they do to another doctor.

They sell "Pull-Ups" for this very thing. I had a friend who at 16 (female) was wetting the bed, her mom never let her come for sleepovers, this was before pull-ups, depends, and pampers was invented. It didnt stop her from getting married and having 2 kids, but she died at 36. Life is short. Please dont make an issue of it...dont mention it to the parents, if they want to spend money, it's theirs to spend. You can't stop them from doing what they think is right. the kids do grow out of it, or they change the sheets, or they use plastic, or they use pull-ups, the children are embarrassed enough outside the home. I always wanted a nose job until i learned you can die from it and it didnt stop me from getting married....

And I am old enough to say I was a bed wetter till way beyond any age mentioned here. No rhyme nor reason to it. It just is. It stopped as suddenly as shutting off a faucet. Much older then anyone would like to be. Might explain my attitude and personality a bit. Forget the specialist and support him, I remember the anger and disappointment and having to get it all cleaned up. We did not have a shower in the house until I was already in high school. Baths are a pain is the ass and I don't ever use the tub to this day. Hot tub yes, but shower to clean.

Kevin

the kids will grow out of it on their own, DONT talk about it, DONT condemn them for it, try to do your best to help them around the issue... (sleep overs, etc.). nothing a therapist is going to do that caring parents cant do on their own.