Disposable Coffee Cup Tax

I saw this mentioned by a greenie on another site, guess the idea is to get people to stop using disposable cups. With the banning of grocery bags this can't be that far away. I thought about it for a while and here's what will happen.

First the government will need a new Department of Homeland Cup Regulation. That will be staffed by bunch of political hacks, to implement this legislation they will first need to do a study over a year for about 10 or 20 million dollars.

What's the monetary benefits? What is a disposable cup? How much tax can we put on them? Do people have sentimental feelings for their cups? Do cups have feelings?

These questions will all need to be answered and since none of the 52,000 people in the Department of Homeland Cup Regulation do not actually know anything about cups the study will be done by the best friend of the Congressperson that sponsored the bill. This friend is uniquely qualified, as pure coincidence he just gave up his job as a convenience store clerk and started a new company that specializes in cup research a few weeks before the passage of the bill. As an added benefit for the Congressperson they can now make some extravagant claim about the jobs he/she created with cup regulation.

After the year long study we will have a new set of regulations 3,485.834,840,284 pages long covering everything about cups that even the authors don't fully understand. One of the major regualtions will be if you want to market your cup as non disposable it will now have be tested and certified as non disposable which of course comes with a fee. We will also need the cup police to insure that no one is selling uncertified cups as certified cups and since it's been determined cups do in fact have feelings you will need to properly dispose of any cup in a Department of Homeland Cup Regulation approved container or face a $10K fine and 5 years in jail.

These regulations will not apply to everyone though, anyone donating $1000 to their local Congressperson of the political party in power at the moment gets a Cup Regulation exemption allowing them to sell coffee at reduced rate driving the competition out of business.

Ultimately the new certified cups cost so much because of the increased regulation your better off just paying the extra fee for the disposable one. The environmentalists will now complain that they can no longer afford to buy the non disposable cups which are expensive because of the legislation they wanted in the first place. To fix this problem we will subsidize them to make them competitive which will be funded by increasing the ridiculous tax on disposable cups to a ludicrous tax.

Now everyone is happy, the environmentalist can look down their nose at others while drinking coffee out of their taxpayer funded non disposable cup and the people using the disposable cup are just happy to have a cup. The exception to this happy camper party is the The Department of Homeland Cup Regulation who no longer has a reason to exist or expand their bureaucracy........ oh wait a minute, is that a news story on the addictive qualities of caffeine and how it will harm your health? Damn, we better regulate what is in that cup!

Better watch what & how you propose things Richard, I heard no mention of anything but coffee to be put into those disposable cups. Don't you realize that other beverages have feelings also & that's not even mentioning the obvious total disregard you have toward decaf, what's your problem with decaf? Then are there going to be different departments for hot & cold or do you expect to be able to locate enough relatives that can do both hot & cold, caffeinated & decaf, plus all the different flavors of soft & possibly alcoholic beverages. Are you then proposing a Fed. Gov. funded training facility capable of training said personal in a timely manor & if so in which state? I would highly suggest that a committee be formed just to discuss the feasibility of such an action, impacts on society & then submit the results to a Congressional Cup Support Study Commission to be made up of all non-bias female members.

I want to be head of the K-CUP division of the Department of Coffee Cups. Five cent deposit paid to me up front, cheerfully refunded when you flatten and mail the used K-Cup to me postage-paid. One cup per envelope, please.

Had to think a moment on that...

If I drink my beverage of choice out of an old soup can will I be jailed as a cup tax evader?

cokehead wrote:If I drink my beverage of choice out of an old soup can will I be jailed as a cup tax evader?

LOL, you could go on forever with this.

While this is funny as hell, it's also damn scary because that really IS the way it works in "da gub'ment" today. If we can't collectively put a stop to it, who knows where it all will end?

What if 2 girls want to use the same cup ??

I think I already have seen that video and it wans't pretty.........




Rick

Hey that was 'Soft Serve' right?...
Ooooh

Wait, so this isnt a joke someone actualy presented this as a serious idea?

carlherrnstein wrote:Wait, so this isnt a joke someone actualy presented this as a serious idea?

Yes it is serious idea and a darn good one if you want a gobermeant job.

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news ... 69d2994645

http://www.squidoo.com/ban-paper-coffee-cups

Well that is just nonsense, in the first link the bureaucrat basicly said he had nothing better to do but impement laws.

Kinda like a bottle depo- problem is you have to wash all those non disposable containers. Water is getting tight in many
places.How green is that? And can the public REALLY be trusted to clean cups properly? Looks like a public health threat! A problem for the feds to ponder,
which way to go? We should be safe for quite some time while they figure out what is ultimately best for us.

Looks to me that it's a thing in Canada but I can see their point. Not for a tax but when I was driving truck I had travel mugs from several different places that gave a discount on refills, worked well for me as the coffee stayed hotter longer & I saved some cash. The paper cups at least deteriorate in a relatively short time, the styrofoam take longer if ever & use oil to make them. It's just a personal thing with me living in a mostly vacation area I hate seeing all the trash the " nature lovers" leave behind.

Paulie wrote: And can the public REALLY be trusted to clean cups properly?

Well that's another thing, even if you wanted to use regular cups it's against the law in some areas.

In this case the Department of Homeland Cup Regulation would have to place agents at every convenience store and coffee shop with sanitary testing kits.