Dude you're caught in a Twilight Zone episode
What the heck kind of human resources dept. does your company have?
I worked on a painting crew way back when in Florida. Stevens and Sons Painting. 1980, things were booming. That guy was a good ole boy and he needed crews. When I got hired he was joking, and I'll never forget this, he said in a southern drawl : "If it breathes, I'll hire it. If it don't work out I'll pay you for a day and we'll part company as friends." HAHAHAHAHA
I worked with some scarey scarey dudes on that gig. It was decent money for Florida at the time, the pay scale there was way low; they used to say, oh well you also get paid in sunshine.