Real Estate Terms

Real Estate Terms FOR HOME SHOPPERS:

•COZY = TINY
•RUSTIC = DILAPIDATED
•SCENIC VIEW = NEXT TO RAILROAD TRACKS
•FIXER UPPER = CONDEMNED
•RIVERFRONT = FLOODS THREE FEET DEEP EVERY OTHER YEAR
•NEWER ROOF = LEAKY ROOF
•WIDE PLANK FLOORS = PLYWOOD FLOORS
•SPACIOUS SHOP = FORMER METH LAB
•WASHER/DRYER = HAND PUMP, RAIN BARREL, CLOTHESLINE
•UNFINISHED BASEMENT = BODIES BURIED IN CRAWLSPACE
•INSULATED = DEAD SQUIRELLS BETWEEN WALLS
•ANTIQUE CHARM = NOTHING IS LEVEL
•DIVERSE NEIGHBORHOOD = HIGH CRIME AREA
•LOW TAXES = NO SERVICES
•CHALET = A-FRAME
•SUNKEN LIVING ROOM = FLOOR HAS COLLAPSED
•CLOSE TO CONVENIENCES = COUNTY JAIL NEXT DOOR
•FRIENDLY NEIGHBORS = INSANE ASYLUM NEXT DOOR
•COUNTRY AIR = PIG FARM UPWIND
•NEWER FURNACE = PIPES ARE FROZEN
•GREAT POTENTIAL = MONEY PIT
•EASY FINANCING = CASH ONLY

Dann757 wrote:Real Estate Terms FOR HOME SHOPPERS:
•SPACIOUS SHOP = FORMER METH LAB

My brother advertised a house for rent "well back and hidden from the road (500-600 feet)".
The first guy to respond said he was employed as a "medical assistant" and wanted to use the cellar to grow "medical marijuana".

MATURE LANDSCAPING = 200 year old trees ready to fall on the house.
GREAT FOR FIRST TIME HOME BUYERS = You now live in a crack neighborhood, next house you buy it will be location,location,location.

I like this one.. INSULATED = DEAD SQUIRELLS BETWEEN WALLS ... I am sure I have a few of them, I once had one in my living room wall, he was stuck, I could not take the scratching anymore, It went on for two days.. In much desperation I took a hammer and an Ice pick and proceeded to punch holes in the wall to try and kill it..lol But I was in the proses of gutting the house so a few holes were no big deal..

"some water in the basement during heavy rains" actually listed on the disclosure for the new house means 4 inches.

Not sure if they were lying or not because the two water events where it flooded were significant and the second time during last falls flood it overwhelmed a sump pump that I watched empty a 5 gallon bucket in about 2 seconds.

There is drainage in place and what was an unused sump pump well. The drain goes about 150 feet out to the road from the basement, it must be partially blocked somewhere. Between the rain gutters and the groundwater it just gets overwhelmed and backed up into the basement. We have a sump pump now and have diverted the small creek that forms during heavy rain into it's own drainage pipe.

Richard S. wrote:"some water in the basement during heavy rains" actually listed on the disclosure for the new house means 4 inches ... The drain goes about 150 feet out to the road from the basement, it must be partially blocked somewhere.

Maybe some cute little critters nested in the drain pipe?
I had a similar drain in an old house with a VERY wet cellar. Had to put screening over the exposed end of the drain pipe, and also fluff a couple bales of hay over and around it in winter to prevent freezing.