A couple things to note...first is that if your wife likes the look of a particular stove then your choice has already been made!! You just have to show her the ones that have enough BTU's to do the job for her to choose from.
Second...If you are going to have to have a generator for extended power outages anyway, then I would go with a stoker to begin with. Make sure you get a generator that is auto start or a keyed start. I can't get my wife out there in the snow or rain to stand on top of the frame and pull start our 11hp genny no matter how hard I try.
Third...Clearances can be lessened if you make the surround a masonry wall or use a heat shield with an air gap. There are some nice pics on here of what some folks have done.
edited to add....you mentioned about the wood stove overheating the space in your parents house...you can control a coal fire much better than a wood fire. And burning it "low" you won't have to worry about creosote like with a wood fire either.
This is one place you don't have to apologize for being long winded!


