Mental health

Mental health

PostBy: grumpy On: Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:26 pm

Just a story I'm putting out there.

I am Adam Lanza’s Mother
It's time to talk about mental illness

http://thebluereview.org/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/
grumpy
 

Re: Mental health

PostBy: jpete On: Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:46 pm

The more I read this story, the more I'm convinced she's a bad parent.

I understand he could just be beyond reach, but I'm not convinced that's the case here.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: 331camaro On: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:12 am

little snot wouldnt last a week in the house i was raised in!
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: I'm On Fire On: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:33 am

I stopped reading at, "Explosive Mental Disorder". Im sorry, what? Is that an actual medical term for "Beat this kid for mouthing off"?

All I've been doing for the past several days is shake my head. This *censored* is unbelievable.

Seriously a 13 year old terrifies his mother? Where the *censored* is this kid's father with the god damned belt? You don't call your mother a bitch and you don't threaten people. I too say this little whelp wouldn't of lasted a day in the house I grew up in.
Last edited by I'm On Fire on Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: Northern Maine On: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:33 am

331camaro wrote:little snot wouldnt last a week in the house i was raised in!


developmentally he's not the child that is in you house...no excuses for him...but, what would you have done differently to prevent?
Northern Maine
 
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: Northern Maine On: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:35 am

I'm On Fire wrote:I stopped reading at, "Explosive Mental Disorder". Im sorry, what? Is that an actual medical term for "Beat this kid for mouthing off"?

All I've been doing for the past several days is shake my head. This *censored* is unbelievable.


Faced with this type of child...what would you have done to make a difference?
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: jpete On: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:37 am

Having at least a little experience in the area, I'd like to clarify my earlier remarks.

I say she was a "bad" parent because apparently, whatever it was she was doing, clearly didn't work.

And it didn't work from day one because if it had, she wouldn't have a kid at 13 who was threatening to kill her.

I have three boys, punishment and reward for all of them is different. My middle boy I could probably beat half to death and he still wouldn't do what he was supposed to. Motivating him is always a challenge but beating him is pointless. I doesn't work.

I am a bit concerned that mental health is being brought into this conversation(nationally) the way it is. It feels a little like Asperger's = homicidal manic and that just isn't the case.

The author of this article is a bit of a legend in the Asperger field and I can't say it any better than he for anyone that is interested.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my- ... ass-murder
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: Northern Maine On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:48 am

jpete wrote:Having at least a little experience in the area, I'd like to clarify my earlier remarks.

I say she was a "bad" parent because apparently, whatever it was she was doing, clearly didn't work.

And it didn't work from day one because if it had, she wouldn't have a kid at 13 who was threatening to kill her.

I have three boys, punishment and reward for all of them is different. My middle boy I could probably beat half to death and he still wouldn't do what he was supposed to. Motivating him is always a challenge but beating him is pointless. I doesn't work.

I am a bit concerned that mental health is being brought into this conversation(nationally) the way it is. It feels a little like Asperger's = homicidal manic and that just isn't the case.

The author of this article is a bit of a legend in the Asperger field and I can't say it any better than he for anyone that is interested.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my- ... ass-murder

And what is your experience in this area?
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: samhill On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:29 am

I know of at least two people in a position not too far from that of the lady that wrote the letter. One chooses to ignore it as the other one did until the point she & her new husband are in now, the kid got held back last year not because of grades but instead he was not allowed back in school. This year different school he was once again in trouble several times & now is going to yet another school that the parent has to sign a release for, just the first day yesterday but he came home & called his step dad everything in the book & told him not to fall asleep. These parents have tried to get help everywhere they could think of & this is the first time any has been offered.
Golly gee, as someone mentioned maybe I should have suggested reading a book on the subject to the parents, both of whom work in the medical field.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: jpete On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 11:53 am

Northern Maine wrote:And what is your experience in this area?


More than yours.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: titleist1 On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:08 pm

the one thing i keep thinking is if she (Lanza's mother not the woman in the linked story) realized he had mental issues why would she keep her guns in the house where he could get to them?

i personally know someone that has a young adult son living in their house that has mental issues that are under control if he stays on his meds, but is not in control to varying degrees if he is off them. he started this during college. because of him they made the decision to remove their guns from their house, asked a friend (ex state cop) to hold them for them and they go get them when they need them (hunting, critter control, target shooting, etc).

i think that given the situation they are currently in the middle of, this was the most responsible course of action for them to take.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: jpete On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:10 pm

titleist1 wrote:the one thing i keep thinking is if she (Lanza's mother not the woman in the linked story) realized he had mental issues why would she keep her guns in the house where he could get to them?

i personally know someone that has a young adult son living in their house that has mental issues that are under control if he stays on his meds, but is not in control to varying degrees if he is off them. he started this during college. because of him they made the decision to remove their guns from their house, asked a friend (ex state cop) to hold them for them and they go get them when they need them.

i think that given the situation they are currently in the middle of, this was the most responsible course of action for them to take.


Sounds like they were realistic with themselves and the situation.

Others, and often mothers in particular, can't be objective when it comes to "their babies" even if the truth is perfectly clear to everyone else.
jpete
 
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: Northern Maine On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:25 pm

jpete wrote:Having at least a little experience in the area, I'd like to clarify my earlier remarks.

I say she was a "bad" parent because apparently, whatever it was she was doing, clearly didn't work.

And it didn't work from day one because if it had, she wouldn't have a kid at 13 who was threatening to kill her.

I have three boys, punishment and reward for all of them is different. My middle boy I could probably beat half to death and he still wouldn't do what he was supposed to. Motivating him is always a challenge but beating him is pointless. I doesn't work.

I am a bit concerned that mental health is being brought into this conversation(nationally) the way it is. It feels a little like Asperger's = homicidal manic and that just isn't the case.

The author of this article is a bit of a legend in the Asperger field and I can't say it any better than he for anyone that is interested.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my- ... ass-murder


Your choice of what works for now is clearly in the here and now...what works today may not work tomorrow...
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: jpete On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:03 pm

Absolutely true. The trick is to realize it and make a change.
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Re: Mental health

PostBy: Rwalker On: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:28 pm

Both parents work. There is your first problem.

In the 1950s how many homes had both parents working? How many mass shootings were there? Was there less so called mental illness back then, or did parents just know how to parent better?

As sexist as it may sound I am a firm believer that if you decide to have children, one parent needs to give up their career and focus on the needs of the house/kids. My wife did, and she made better money then me! :lol: And I couldnt be happier for it. No daycare, and our children always have mom to take them to school, pick them up, etc. We dont rely on others to raise our children for us.

And I agree, the first time one of my children calls their mom a bitch they will be swallowing teeth.

Ask yourself this: how much TV do your kids watch a day? How much time is spent on video games? How much time is spent doing something that helps them physically and mentally? How often do you play board or puzzle games with them?

I wonder how much simple sugars and processed food this mom is pumping into her kid...
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