Answer These

Answer These

PostBy: theo On: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:11 pm

Subject: Fw: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we worked out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the lavatory is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if he is going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
theo
 
Stove/Furnace Make: LL
Stove/Furnace Model: Hyfire 2

Re: Answer These

PostBy: rockwood On: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:26 pm

Does turning the thermostat up to 90 make the house heat up quicker? ;)
rockwood
 
Hot Air Coal Stoker Furnace: Stokermatic coal furnace
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Rockwood Stoveworks Circulator
Baseburners & Antiques: Malleable/Monarch Range
Coal Size/Type: Soft coal: Lump and stoker (slack coal)

Re: Answer These

PostBy: tsb On: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:53 pm

If a deaf person goes to court is it still a hearing ?
tsb
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Binford 2000
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: LL Pioneer top vent
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Saey Hanover II


Re: Answer These

PostBy: Cap On: Mon Dec 24, 2012 4:14 pm

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


I'd like to know the first person to figure a blue claw crab from a bottom of a muddy bay was good eating...
Cap
 
Hand Fed Coal Boiler: Harman SF 250, domestic hot water loop, heat accumulator

Re: Answer These

PostBy: theo On: Mon Dec 24, 2012 4:19 pm

Who first came up with cooking food rather then eating it raw ?
theo
 
Stove/Furnace Make: LL
Stove/Furnace Model: Hyfire 2

Re: Answer These

PostBy: NoSmoke On: Sat Dec 29, 2012 8:27 am

These are NoSmoke original questions...

Why is the black box on a plane really bright red? If it was called the red box instead of the black box, the morons looking for it could probably find it faster. Not only that, but if the black box (which should really be called the red box) can survive a plane crash, then why don't they make the plane out of the same material that the black box/red box is made out of?

Why do they put a single zipper on the back of women's dresses? If they put two zippers on a woman's dress, located to the left and right and not a single one in the center, woman could zip and unzip their dress without asking for help!

If prostitution is really the oldest profession, then what did the "John" do in order to earn the commodity in which to give to the woman for her services?

Why do we spend billions in this country to remove snow from the ground so we can use our very traction-limited cars to drive on bare dirt. Wouldn't it be much more economical to convert cars to travel on snow then it would to remove the snow in the first place?

Why did my school district spend 50 million dollars to build ONE school for 11 towns, when each of the 11 towns could have spent 1 million per town to build one school?

Why do they say modern agriculture is failing, when 1/2 a percent feeds of the population feeds the other 99-1/2% of society? Furthermore, how can it be failing if even our poorest people are fat?

How can farmers buy everything at retail prices and turn around and sell their commodities at wholesale prices and make a profit?
NoSmoke
 
Hand Fed Coal Boiler: New Yoker WC90
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Vogelzang Pot Bellied Stove
Coal Size/Type: Stove/Nut/Pea Anthracite
Other Heating: Munchkin LP Boiler (Back-up)

Re: Answer These

PostBy: Lightning On: Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:10 am

Heres one of my own.

We didn't we call a "W" a double V??
Lightning
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1537G
Coal Size/Type: Nut Size / White Ash

Re: Answer These

PostBy: Freddy On: Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:33 am

NoSmoke wrote:These are NoSmoke original questions...

Why do we spend billions in this country to remove snow from the ground so we can use our very traction-limited cars to drive on bare dirt. Wouldn't it be much more economical to convert cars to travel on snow then it would to remove the snow in the first place?


Fun post!

I can answer this one.... back in the good ol' days the roads were NOT plowed. They were rolled. The snow packed down & became a good surface for travel.... until... you guessed it... Spring. Then they had the discovery of the term "mud season". So they went to plowing and mus season went from 6 weeks to one week. Then they went to pavement & the roads now evade mud season for the most part.
Freddy
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 130 (pea)
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Reading piece o' junk in the barn (rice)
Coal Size/Type: Pea size, Superior, deep mined

Re: Answer These

PostBy: samhill On: Sat Dec 29, 2012 11:28 am

Hey wait a minute, do you mean I'm still living in the good old days? They do however plow our dirt roads otherwise we would have a 10 foot drop to the drainage ditch if we should slide off. Besides that those want-a- be zamboni drivers have to practice somewhere. :arrow:
samhill
 
Hot Air Coal Stoker Furnace: keystoker 160
Hand Fed Coal Stove: hitzer 75 in garage
Stove/Furnace Make: keystoker/hitzer
Stove/Furnace Model: koker 160/ hitzer 75

Re: Answer These

PostBy: NoSmoke On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:11 am

Freddy wrote:
NoSmoke wrote:These are NoSmoke original questions...

Why do we spend billions in this country to remove snow from the ground so we can use our very traction-limited cars to drive on bare dirt. Wouldn't it be much more economical to convert cars to travel on snow then it would to remove the snow in the first place?


Fun post!

I can answer this one.... back in the good ol' days the roads were NOT plowed. They were rolled. The snow packed down & became a good surface for travel.... until... you guessed it... Spring. Then they had the discovery of the term "mud season". So they went to plowing and mus season went from 6 weeks to one week. Then they went to pavement & the roads now evade mud season for the most part.


Hoovercraft
NoSmoke
 
Hand Fed Coal Boiler: New Yoker WC90
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Vogelzang Pot Bellied Stove
Coal Size/Type: Stove/Nut/Pea Anthracite
Other Heating: Munchkin LP Boiler (Back-up)

Re: Answer These

PostBy: rberq On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:30 am

Lightning wrote:We didn't we call a "W" a double V??

Ask a Frenchman how he pronounces it.
rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300
Coal Size/Type: Nut -- Kimmel/Blaschak/Reading
Other Heating: Oil hot water radiators, propane

Re: Answer These

PostBy: rberq On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:35 am

NoSmoke wrote:Why do we spend billions in this country to remove snow from the ground so we can use our very traction-limited cars to drive on bare dirt.

Some cities around here prefer to dump huge amounts of salt on the snow, rather than plow. Then at 20 mph you can hydroplane on four inches of granulated slush.
rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300
Coal Size/Type: Nut -- Kimmel/Blaschak/Reading
Other Heating: Oil hot water radiators, propane

Re: Answer These

PostBy: KLook On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:44 am

granulated slush.


Good description, reminds me of the many words the Eskimo's have for snow. i definitely prefer to drive on packed snow then slush. New state regulations required the center of the road be bare within 24? hours after the storm stopped. Even out in the boonies if it was a state aid highway. Stupid city folk making sweeping changes without thought to the consequences.

Kevin
KLook
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Harman VF 3000
Coal Size/Type: rice, bagged, Blaschak
Stove/Furnace Make: Harman (Back In Maine)
Stove/Furnace Model: VF 3000

Re: Answer These

PostBy: theo On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:13 am

Why did Kamikaze pilots where helmits ?
theo
 
Stove/Furnace Make: LL
Stove/Furnace Model: Hyfire 2

Re: Answer These

PostBy: michaelanthony On: Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:52 am

If you yell through a screen, will you strain your voice?
michaelanthony
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Vigilant 2310, gold marc box, vogelzang pot belly coat rack
Coal Size/Type: Pea, and a little nut
Other Heating: Very cold FHA oil furnace