MarkG wrote:He won't speak to me if he sees me, and will go as far as waiting for me to go into my house before coming out of his. He usually gets his wife to do his dirty work when it comes to confronting people about anything. They haven't blared their music in about a month or so, but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with his wife's kids being there.
I’m going to play devil’s advocate: Overall you have painted a picture of a second-marriage blended-family couple living next door, with below-average social skills and average or above average marital and financial problems, trying to cope with their troubles and feeling disliked, isolated, and persecuted by the neighborhood, you included. The worst they have done to you – and we have only your side of the story – is to refuse to move their car to accommodate your coal deliveries. This on a street where you say parking is very tight, and they could easily lose their space unless they drop whatever they are doing and stand by during your coal delivery. Stop gossiping about them and ganging up on them with the rest of the neighbors. Maybe you can help things work out well in the long run, rather than deteriorate.
I appreciate your response and playing the devil's advocate, because it is always the right thing to do to view it from their standpoint. Having said that, I have on numerous occasions extended the olive branch to resolve the issues but got nowhere. I don't gossip with the other neighbors about them or gang up on them, and in fact, gave them the benefit of the doubt in the beginning because we were warned while moving in but I believe that everyone deserves a chance and I don't judge people based on others' perceptions. Things were fine after a few weeks and we all got along great. When it came to them asking us, not paraphrasing, to "keep our kid quiet during the day", that's where I drew the line. And we responded politely, saying "He's two years old, we will try to limit the noise but are not going to have him sit on the couch with his hands in his lap all day long." Regarding the gossip, if the neighbors ask me how things are going with "them next door" as they're known, I give a general response because I don't like to gossip about others. However, it's not coincidental that we hear people say that they don't like them because they're disrespectful. I get that people talk and some form opinions based on what they hear, but it's a good mix of people from all walks of life in the neighborhood and the general consensus is not good. I don't talk about the personal stuff that we hear them fight about, don't make up stories, and move to quickly change the subject if they're brought up. The only reason I shared the information in here that I did was to give people an idea of the type of neighbors they are so it doesn't look like I'm just lambasting them for no reason.
I understand that everyone has their own demons to deal with, but I don't think it's justifiable to cause undue stress and problems for others because of it. We don't take our problems out on anyone else, and don't appreciate when it's done to us. I would prefer that we work things out ourselves, as I've clearly stated, but that hasn't worked to this point. That's why I came here - to do some information gathering and see if anyone else has ever experienced this. But again, I appreciate and respect your opinion and position. Sometimes you have to play the devil's advocate, but I believe we've given them enough respect and have done what we could to accommodate them.