Marty's Bus

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: freetown fred On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:00 pm

Real nice obit Freddy. It covered it all real well. Stay strong my friend!
freetown fred
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: rberq On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 3:51 pm

Nice obit, you captured the person including a few of the rough edges. ;)

Don't sweat a root canal, from the patient's point of view it's a lot like having a cavity filled only it lasts longer. And sounds funny.
rberq
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: rubicondave33 On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:35 pm

That is quite the obituary! I've read it several times and am deeply moved.
rubicondave33
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: lowfog01 On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 8:33 pm

Thanks for giving us a glimpse of the real Marty. She sounds like a handy person to have around. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and yours, Lisa
lowfog01
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Mark II & Mark I

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: dcrane On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:55 pm

Very sorry for your loss Freddy... The tears I have on my face are actually joyful ones after reading this thread again and again... joy for her life, her family and of course her man... I know your exhausted, I know your mind races, I know how hard these weeks and months must have been... you done good sir! god is proud and so are we...

thoughts & prayers for ya Freddy
dcrane
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Crane 404

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: KLook On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:24 pm

Freddy.....just popped in and spotted this. So sorry. Back on page 15 was my last check in,Marty was fading, and I was hovering over the keys to say something, Flyer had just posted some support. I was going to say that her years in caring for people and seeing them fight and linger etc, etc, might cause her to mentally accept and just pass quickly and peacefully. I couldn't figure out how to say it gracefully, so I didn't post. Now on page 19, I will say I am glad that it went that way. You can remember the last months of good mind and health and new memories made. Most of us have witnesses the horror that cancer can be for some. I hope you find peace of mind after the last few years of taking care of loved ones in end of life situations. Your character shines through strongly.

Kevin
KLook
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Freddy On: Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:54 pm

Gosh.... I read the Marty's bus "short version". Thank you Greg. In hindsight I am so glad I did this. There are things we did during the last few months that may have been forgotten, but now I have a nice little journal.

I got to a dentist today... my regular dentist couldn't see me so after only 16 phone calls I found one that would squeeze me in. First thing" Fill out these papers" : Name, address, Married, or single? Oh, crap....tears flowed. I got into the chair & the girl, maybe 35 or 40 yrs old, she asked how I was & I replied that I'd had better days. She asked why, I lost it.... tears, tears tears. She expressed her condolences & then said "I think I know a little of how you feel, my brother recently died too, but I can't imagine losing a mate". I asked when her brother died & she said "Day before yesterday" Good grief!! He was 53, diabetic. Then she said 3 weeks ago her sister lost her husband! Ya know.... I think talking to her helped me a bit... I'm not so alone....others are in the same boat. She seemed to be functioning, maybe I can too.
I've gone to the shop a few times.... I can't work... but, a customer came in today that I had already made some graphics for. I went to his house & got half the job done. Typically when I'm in crisis, I work. This time is way worse than any other mental crisis, but todays' decal job I think got me headed in the right direction. I have to go & finish it now.

Time for bed. I'm trying to reset my inner clock. This getting up at 2AM needs to change.
Freddy
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 130 (pea)
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: rockwood On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:31 am

Freddy wrote: todays' decal job I think got me headed in the right direction

I think you're right Freddy...staying busy/working helps.

That obituary is really good...what a wonderful lady!
rockwood
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Hambden Bob On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 5:41 am

Freddy,Thanx For The Trust,And Many Thanx For Sharing With Us. You Are Not Alone,And You Are Most Definitely Loved And Understood.....Your experience at the new Dentist's Office drives Home one hell of a point. No one probably would've thought or seen the Marital Status question coming. That one caught me flat. What matters is how You see it. We know the Physical Reality,but what matters,to me,is how You choose to carry it. You have been a Master Instructor of Real Life through this whole Life Story that You've been so Gracious to Share with us. I can't Thank You Enough! If it helps,the way I've come to picture a Life Changer of Epic Proportions is like this: When an Airliner crashes,there's a bundle of complete and utter devastation. The FAA is called in to Investigate,and literally put the pieces back together to try and tell the story of what went wrong. Usually,inside of a Hangar or Large Warehouse,all the collected pieces are brought,and the Painstaking Job of trying to put the puzzle back together begins. If you've ever been able to see the work,it's truly amazing. Eventually,if all can go well,the Story becomes told,and the reasons for the crash can be told. They take Massive Disruption and Loss,and attempt to make sense of it so that maybe,something Positive can be gleaned from a Bad Event. Sort of putting an Order To Things back into Life. I dunno,it's one Helluva reach,but I use the Airliner Crash Analogy as just a thought. The idea that You first take time to comprehend and grasp all that has occurred. Then you slowly Master The Reality of what's going on right now,but only due to the fact that You;ve taken the time to do the hard work of Sizing Up what You've Had,what You've Lost,and how the Hell You go Forward from Here to Achieve A New,Tolerable Normal. In Hindsight,I think my words and analogy suck,but since it's the best I've got at a time like this,I'm posting them. I think I'll go take the Corkscrew out of my guts,cause that's how not being able to help you makes me feel. I'll be damned if I won't try. It's going to be OK,Freddy :yes:
Hambden Bob
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: freetown fred On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:56 am

Your analogy FAR from sucked Freddy. Tough times indeed. Just think on how Marty would want you to get through all this. You're living for two now my friend. I just have to thank you again for sharing this worst of times.
freetown fred
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: samhill On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:58 am

Just some friendly advice Freddy (maybe at a bad time) but be sure to get enough death certificates, I just had to send for more & the previous wife died in 2001. It brings on a whole set of emotions that I wish I didn't have to go thru again, it's always better to have extra than apply later. Keeping busy is hard but it sure does help.
samhill
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Freddy On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:22 am

Hambden Bob wrote: I'll go take the Corkscrew out of my guts


Hey! That's my corkscrew!

Oh man.... Triggers.... I'll be OK for a while then some little thing sets me off & I cry. I guess that will go on for some time. Some things I find I cannot touch.... Saturday morning Marty took off her wedding rings because she was afraid they were going to fall off because her fingers were getting skinny. We discussed finding a gold chain & putting them around her neck....but that never happened. Here's a picture. I figure if I have this picture maybe someday I can move them & will have a photo.

Eloise called this morning. Both of us slept past 3 for the first time. After she got coffee she emptied the suitcase that she had here during her stay the last few days. She had packed a wind up alarm clock. I saw her wind it a few times & once Carla was winding it. She told me that she dumped the suitcase out, mindlessly picked the clock up & set it on her dresser. A few moments later she turned and noticed it had stopped. I said "NO!" She said, yes, it stopped at exactly 11:35, the time of Marty's final breath. She needs to buy a new clock, she can not touch that one. She tried to brush it off saying "Your clocks might have been different than my clock". I said "Eloise you know that won't fly... we all agreed and the death certificate will say 11:35." I can here Hamilton Bob's voice right now "And some people say there's no God! Ya, righhhht!" LOL OK, OK, I know... I've done the math... "only" a 720 to one chance... but, it happened.

And yes, thanks for the reminder..... we usually think to get six death certificates, but when the time actually comes I always get 10. I know with one of the family we only have two left. Some places will take a copy, but most want "an original".
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Freddy
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: michaelanthony On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:38 am

Good morning Freddy, thank you for sharing your sorrow and struggles. Marty is with all of us so please feel free to call or write and share the wonderful and the lesser. Emotions aside, writing an obit is an oxymoron to me...something so beautiful because of something so tragic leaves a void so please keep writing and telling. I am sure you wrote the short version :) If and when you travel to camp feel free to stop in or call.
michaelanthony
 
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: rberq On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:03 am

Freddy wrote:... it stopped at exactly 11:35, the time of Marty's final breath

Now reading that sent a shiver up my spine. :|

My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor...
rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300
Coal Size/Type: Nut -- Kimmel/Blaschak/Reading
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: SMITTY On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:09 pm

Nice job on that obit Freddy. Keep on keepin' on buddy. ;)
SMITTY
 
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