Marty's Bus

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Keepaeyeonit On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:36 pm

Freddy in lue of sounding like a broken record that's one hell of a obituary my friend I envy you to have had such a wonderful wife and it seems most of the time you spent was quality time which is good! Time makes it easer but you will never forget her (the good and bad)I can't stress that enough, please spend time with your loved ones and make sure it's quality time because you just don't know how much time you have. Take care my friend. Keepaeyeonit
Keepaeyeonit
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Hitzer 983 insert
Coal Size/Type: Mammoth nut
Other Heating: oil furnace,and a crappy heat pump

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: jkabdoors On: Fri Jun 06, 2014 6:38 pm

Freddy, I don't post much on here but I visit everyday. You are like an older Brother to us all full of wisdom. My family and I are so sorry. Jeff K
jkabdoors
 
Stove/Furnace Make: Leisure Line
Stove/Furnace Model: Pocono

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: SWPaDon On: Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:02 am

Freddy, I want to offer my condolences.
I knew when I went out in the truck, that I would find this outcome when I got home. In a way, I'm happy, because Marty is no longer suffering. But I'm so sad for you.
This thread brought back the memories of my sister(as I told you in the e-mail), and what her husband and children went through. My sister was diagnosed, and given 3 months to live. She passed on day 90.
I feel for you my friend, and if there is anything I can do.........let me know

I want to thank you for this thread, it has given me insight that I've never really had before.

I'm going to stop typing now to prevent rambling, as I'm like others..........I'm a 'one fingered pecker', and forget what I wanted to type before I get there.

Take care my friend.
SWPaDon
 
Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 1600M
Coal Size/Type: Bituminous. Labeled as 'Big Vein', about the size of acorns. Makes a lot of ash, but heats well and lasts longer than my previous coal.


Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Freddy On: Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:03 am

Keepaeyeonit wrote:I envy you to have had such a wonderful wife


*smile* Well.... you do understand that you're only hearing this through my eyes, looking from today. Over the years we had our problems, and some were difficult to overcome. Certainly though, the last 15 years were very good years.
Freddy
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 130 (pea)
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Reading piece o' junk in the barn (rice)
Coal Size/Type: Pea size, Superior, deep mined

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: rberq On: Sat Jun 07, 2014 7:13 am

Freddy wrote:Over the years we had our problems, and some were difficult to overcome.

Sounds very normal. A bunch of us were talking at work one day, and one lady said proudly, "My husband and I absolutely never disagree or fight about anything." I said (but not out loud), "There's something very wrong with that relationship." Sure enough, a year later they split.
rberq
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: DS Machine 1300
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Cap On: Sat Jun 07, 2014 7:33 am

Freddy, I think we all know today & tomorrow will be a very difficult time for Elsie, Carla & you. Many of us would be there to lend our support if we could. I certainly would. I will keep all of you in my thoughts this weekend. I work in a Catholic Hospital. There are crucifixes everywhere! Easy to remember to pray. :idea: Take care.
Cap
 
Hand Fed Coal Boiler: Harman SF 250, domestic hot water loop, heat accumulator

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: SMITTY On: Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:43 pm

Your just human, Freddy - we all have hidden issues. If you could see my family history, you'd be shocked I didn't turn out psychopathic. toothy

You guys MADE it work, and that's more than 90% of the country today can say. Says alot about you & Marty's character too. 8-)
SMITTY
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Patriot Coal - custom built by Jim Dorsey
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Harman Mark III (not currently in use)
Coal Size/Type: Rice / Blaschak anthracite
Other Heating: Oil fired Burnham boiler

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Freddy On: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:41 pm

I'm a train wreck in motion....but....as the days go by it seems that less parts are flying and no new parts are breaking off. We had the burial service for Marty's ashes today. It was a beautiful day! (weather wise) Here's a pic of the urn...the sun is reflecting hard... it's brass, colored blue with white birds flying. Nephew Roland is digging the hole.

I've done this type of thing for several family members, but thought I was a bit too close and feared I'd crash & burn so I asked my brother in law to officiate. He was happy to do so, but, asked if I might act as plan "B" in case he broke down. OK, but I had a plan "c" just in case & R2D2 Paul would have stepped in. BUT... I did OK. I started to cry a couple times, but it was fine. I was taught "When you have to speak in public, tell them what you're going to tell them, then tell them". That is.... I described that I was going to open with the Lords prayer, then Dick was going to say some words ( he is SO good at table prayers and come to find out he's good at funeral ones too.), then I'd ask if anyone would like to say a few words, then I'd close with Psalm 23. After that I'd place the urn in the ground and scoop in a scoop from a 5 gallon bucket & family would drop in a rose. Then all other, if they'd like, could come, scoop some dirt from the bucket, and after that I'd say a final goodbye. It went perfectly.....except ... jusssst after the Lords prayer we heard a noise behind me. 50 feet away three horses walked down a trail. (Marty used to have horses & they were her favorite animal. we had NO IDEA that there was a trail just above the cemetery!) The horse riders thought they were a bother, but, they were the highlight. Everyone talked about it afterwards, how happy Marty would be to know that horses came by now & then, It was so special! I want to make a sign to put on the trail telling them. "You thought you were a bother, but, you made our day by throwing in a ray of sunshine. My late wife would have been very happy".

When I asked if anyone wanted to speak at first no one volunteered.... not unheard of...but, I went & asked "Deb", a co-worker. Yup, I put her on the spot. Well, she did step up and did a super job! She told of her first days as an RN & how Marty was instrumental in her early years. After that half a dozen people stepped up & told stories.... it went so well. After Eloise asked me " You had that set up right? Deb speaking was per-arranged?" I said no... I put her on the spot. *smile*
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Freddy
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 130 (pea)
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Reading piece o' junk in the barn (rice)
Coal Size/Type: Pea size, Superior, deep mined

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Hambden Bob On: Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:27 pm

You Really Took It All "Downtown,Freddy....You Made It Through...Keep Steppin',Mister....It's Gonna Be Alright... :up:
Hambden Bob
 
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Harman 1998 Magnum Stoker
Coal Size/Type: Rice-A-Roni !

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Flyer5 On: Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:13 pm

Again, start to type and at a loss for words. I hope your days get easier with time Freddy. Sounds like you have some good friends and family. The horse part was nice.
Flyer5
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Leisure Line WL110
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Leisure Line Pioneer

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: freetown fred On: Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:08 am

Real nice Freddy:) Sometimes it sounds like unadulterated BS, but time does heal. Never forgotten but accepted for life as it is. You're a strong man my friend. Marty would be proud of you as am I. Be well & thanx for sharing all this.
freetown fred
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
Coal Size/Type: BLASCHAK Nut/Stove mix

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: michaelanthony On: Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:55 am

I am sorry I couldn't make the rip down Freddy ( damn work crap ), but I will make it there this summer. My son Sean cried with me when he asked what was wrong with daddy's eyes. He said, "she was a nice lady we will all play in heaven" :) kids know more than we give'm credit for...from the mouth's of babes.
michaelanthony
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Vigilant 2310, gold marc box, vogelzang pot belly coat rack
Coal Size/Type: Pea, and a little nut
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Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: SMITTY On: Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:06 pm

The Lord works in mysterious ways, as they say. I got the chills when you mentioned the horses, and how Marty loved them. That's God's way of saying to you that Marty is healthy and happy again, and everything is going to be just fine, in time. ;)
SMITTY
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Patriot Coal - custom built by Jim Dorsey
Hand Fed Coal Stove: Harman Mark III (not currently in use)
Coal Size/Type: Rice / Blaschak anthracite
Other Heating: Oil fired Burnham boiler

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: Freddy On: Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:41 am

I just looked....It's been 26 days since Marty passed? Hard to believe. It's still easy to cry, but there have been changes & slowly I will follow Mr Silverstein's advice..... and that's what this story is about:

In 1996 I joined AOL and in the beginning of my online world I met a bunch of people. At one time I had, I don't know, 25 or 30 cyber friends. I'd share stories of my trials motorcycles adventures & such. Today that list has come down to three cyber friends. One in CA, a disabled lady that works at the animal shelter. Her husband is a computer geek. They have six dachshunds. Two is a female in PA. At this point we email once or twice a month. And three, is Laura. She lives in Florida. She's a single Mom with two boys, but they are both grown & out on their own. Laura is the only cyber friend that Marty got to know. Sometimes at Christmas Laura would call & play a keyboard & sing carols. Last Fall Laura emailed & said she might be coming to Maine. A family reunion was being planned and if it all came to pass, she would be in Portland this coming August. I showed that email to Marty & she said "We're going to Portland!". But, that was not to be. Laura is a teacher's aid. She can not afford to take the summer off so she teaches at summer school. She was scheduled to work starting 2 weeks ago & then have a week and a half off before school starts at the end of August. That was the time she might come to Maine. The Friday before summer school started, the school phoned & told her of a change. Summer school is not starting until July 2nd and goes until one day before school starts in the Fall. At that moment we realized.... it was either meet her right then, or sometime in 2015 or beyond. So... flights are cheaper if you stay a week. I told her she'd have to keep herself busy for the first few days as I had already committed myself to work. Carla set up the spare room & I had a house guest for 6 days! I didn't know if it would help my grieving, or just delay it, but it was to be. It was a bit strange, but it was nice to not be alone. I did work the first few days, but took Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon. Friday night we packed supper & breakfast, a couple sleeping bags & went to "South camp" only 10 miles away. We intended to stay the night....but I couldn't! I just cried & couldn't shake it. Laura understood, and we left. We took a drive to Bucksport & went to Fort Knox. Here's a pic from across the river & one inside the fort. When I was a kid we went once a year on my birthday. We came back home after that and I then realized something: Marty and I never talked about what I was supposed to do after she died. We were so caught up in living each day as best we could, it just never came up. I even purposely didn't think about "after" as it didn't seem to matter. What was to be was to be, why talk about it? But.... I wish we had. It's like Marty left me with no direction, and we all know I Loved her because she did in fact drive me. So.... that night I had a talk with Marty. Oh, it wasn't a vision, it was just me inside my own head. Paul had asked Marty what HE should do after she was gone & she told him "Continue being a friend to Fred, & go have fun". Those words echoed in my head & I could almost hear her voice. She said "It's OK Freddy, go forward, have some fun". Marty only called me Freddy on rare occasion and it was very loving, very endearing. Since then I've been a bit better. Saturday night Laura & I went to North Camp & it was OK. I teared up once or twice, but we stayed & it was OK. I might have trouble going there alone, but with a friend, no problem.

Carla is here....time for a game of cribbage. I'll be back in a while & finish the story.
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Freddy
 
Stoker Coal Boiler: Axeman Anderson 130 (pea)
Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Reading piece o' junk in the barn (rice)
Coal Size/Type: Pea size, Superior, deep mined

Re: Marty's Bus

PostBy: freetown fred On: Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:32 am

Thanx Freddy. Not much else to say after reading that. TIME does heal, my good friend. :)
freetown fred
 
Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
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