Marty's Bus

Freddy · Post by **Freddy** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 4:35 am

OK... I made it through coffee...didn't even cry. It's weird how we humans can compartmentalize grief and get some things done. I've put this off for a week now. We wanted to have empirical proof before we said anything. An X-ray showed it, The Drs said it could be a few different things. A PET scan verified it, the Dr said it wasn't good, but it wasn't proof. Late yesterday we got the results of a surgical biopsy. My wife, my love, my Marty, has lung cancer. <now tears> It's not good, not at all. It's in the worst place possible, right above her heart. That takes surgery off the table. Because of it's size, radiation is also off the table. It is small cell, that's way worse than large cell. The DR said if it had been large cell, it would have been stage 3 or 4, but because it's small cell, they don't even stage it, it's either limited (contained to the lung) or unlimited (spread to other places). The PET shows hot spots in a rib and her spine so it is unlimited. God is calling her name & there is no changing that. It's just a matter of time and what do we do with that time. We have....she has.... simply put, decided to try and live each day as best as we can. We have no desire to go to Hawaii or the Great Wall of China or something. We enjoy simple things and will do just that.... stay home & play cribbage, get excited with a pretty sunrise, walk the dogs and other daily little things. She's giving hard consideration to not having chemo. We have always talked that if we have a choice of living 3 or 4 months and feeling pretty good most of the time, or, living 9 months and feeling like crap all the time, that we'd choose feeling good for a shorter time. Of course, that might change when it's actually happening. Whatever Marty wants, we will do.

She's 63 years old & yes, she's always smoked cigarettes.

Her, our, best friend Eloise will go hand and hand with us through this journey. As a matter of fact, she retired because of this. Eloise is (was) an intensive care cardiac nurse. She said she feared caring for a patient while her mind was someplace else. The fact is, she was scheduled to retire April 15th, so it's not that big a change. She has known Marty 45 years.... 6 years longer than I have.

I've rambled... sorry.

Fred

Post by **Lightning** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 4:46 am

Omg Freddy!!! I don't know what to say. I'm sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your family my friend..

Post by **Rob R.** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 5:03 am

Sorry to hear this Freddy. If the doctors don't think treatment is likely to help, I think you two have chosen the best course of action. Enjoy every day.

Her friend Eloise sounds like she is one in a million. It is good that you have someone to help you along the way.

cabinover · Post by **cabinover** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 5:08 am

I'm not all that religious but my prayers go out to you and Marty. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

anthony7812 · Post by **anthony7812** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 5:12 am

Holy Cow Fred, I am very sorry to hear the news. In my prayers.

Carbon12 · Post by **Carbon12** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 5:21 am

My prayers are with you and yours

ricoman2737 · Post by **ricoman2737** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 5:40 am

Freddy,
Very very sorry to hear this sad news. I know you'll give her great support and help through her journey. The best for the both of you. Thoughts and prayers headed your way. John Rice

Hambden Bob · Post by **Hambden Bob** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 6:07 am

Thank You......Thank You for bringing this to us with Your Own Very Special Life's Grace. I've learned a lot of what define's You has been Marty. Now I've learned about Eloise. My God,You've been Living In A Cathedral Of Maine Life. It's what's made You Special to us Here,at The Board. I've said it a few times,Freddy,that We're not just here for the Funsies and Jokesies. You better get the Bus started and warmed up. We're all along for The Ride. You're gonna need a lot of Seats. God,I Love What The Two Of You Have,and how You've Shared It With Us. It's Eternal to me,Freddy. I Love You Both !

Kennebago · Post by **Kennebago** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 6:39 am

We don't know each other well at all but I would like to add my prayers and support to the tons of others coming your way.

Jerry

lowfog01 · Post by **lowfog01** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 6:39 am

What do you say when you hear news like this? Everything seems so small and inconsequential. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Marty. I am thankful that your friend will be there.

I am also thankful for the kindness of strangers. Many people will be reaching out to you as you walk this path. Accept the blessings that they offer and know that God does answer each prayer we say. Sometimes the answer is not what we would have wanted but sometimes that leads to a miracle down the road. Look for the lessons and miracles that will come from this experience. I know I will be looking for the lessons to learn and the good accompanying this pain.

Be strong, your friend, Lisa

scalabro · Post by **scalabro** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 6:51 am

Fred....You and Marty will be in my prayers

freetown fred · Post by **freetown fred** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 7:19 am

Freddy, Marty & you have both been in my daily words for quite some time now as are many people. I do know one thing--Marty's a tough lady, hell, she's put up with you all these years

I was diagnosed with Parkinson's years ago right before a trip out to Bike Week in Sturgis, S.D. I visited some friends on the Rosebud Reservation & ran into a much older & wiser man then I am & we got to talking about my prognosis, which is pretty much an unknown, outcome wise--well, we all know our ultimate outcome, anyway I'll share what he told me----ya either got the disease or the disease has you---ME??? I've got the disease & what will be, will be. It's been yrs since that diagnosis & I'm still going strong, I live my days like I'm a dumb ass 30 yr old & just continue to do what I've always done. Sounds like the Creator has put an Angel in your lives with your friend Eloise. Stay strong my friend. I share your tears Freddy.

Freddy · Post by **Freddy** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 8:59 am

Thank you all for the kind words. Every one of you is special.
OK, Load the bus up.... it's a 32 seater with 16 cribbage boards. A fridge full of Pepsi & off we go.

Kennebago · Post by **Kennebago** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 9:20 am

15 two 15 four and a pair of aces

michaelanthony · Post by **michaelanthony** » Sat. Mar. 01, 2014 9:22 am

I'm so sorry my friend, god bless you.