Beaver Holds Man Hostage

I had a racoon hold us hostage last Friday. Around dark it parked itself on the top step at my back porch. I have a full view glass door at the top of the steps, my dog saw the 'coon and went nuts. The 'coon left, problem solved. Had a few people over, when they were leaving the 'coon was back and had no intention of leaving. Opened the door a tad and poked him with a stick. He attacked the stick, growling, hissing and frothing. Closed the door and he just laid there. He was obviously sick, maybe rabies, maybe something else. I told everyone to stay inside. They could have left through a different door, but would still have to pass within a few feet of the 'coon to get their vehicle and I didn't want to risk them being attacked. I called DNR to see if they would capture it and test it for rabies. They said they couldn't send anyone out until Monday and all they could do is shoot it. Shooting it was dicey because of the concrete landing and having to shoot towards the house. I figured out an angle that would leave any ricochet going in a safe direction and put him down with a 22 rimfire revolver. Picked him up with a shovel and cremated him in the fire pit, flamed the shovel and doused the steps and landing with bleach. Just a typical Friday night among us rednecks, getting drunk and playing with guns.