I'll be damned !.......
I don't know how my warped and demented self missed this !!! This had to be the best that I've seen since that "Nymphomaniac who owns a Liquor Store" one !!
While I may be spoken for-I mean Our 28th Wedding Anniversary is on New Year's Eve,I realize that my current Marital Status can change any minute now. The Poor Woman can only take so much !
If that does occur between now and then,well,I'd be willing to help Louise out. I do,however,have some simple criteria in order to wreck Louise's Bright Future :
1.) She must have an affinity for tall,balding and overweight dudes
2.) Must be able to handle the strain of immediate conversation upon wake-up and BEFORE COFFEE
3.) Must be able to handle a literal barrage of off-color jokes,one liners and suttle slurs. Also include self-deprecating humor,including laughing profusely at farts,sharts and someone puking
4.) Must understand that the term "Foreplay" means having soup and salad before they truck in the main part of any meal
5.) Must understand an Old Man who plays "Hard To Get"
6.) Must understand that Duluth Trading Co. is considered a source of "Formal Wear"
7.) Must carry the false hope that NA$CAR isn't scripted like "Big Time Wrestling"
8.) Must handle the fact that I'm greatly pissed that the Lunkhead Cleveland Browns won a game.... I wanted that "Perfect Season" Shame Parade in Downtown Cleveland..... Bastards...
9.) Must have that "Cottage Cheese(Large Curd)" looking stuff composing the back of her thighs and Fanny Cheeks-Must be an "Old Guy" Thing !
10.) Must have an incessant need for Bonfires and Beers at Sandusky Bay Camp-Not Negotiable !
Well,there You go ! I give it a shot if Louise will...... To Hell with the Stuporbowel ! I've got Lives to Wreck !! Bon Jour,Amigos !!