Welcome back, Larry, and know your open example and sharing of your trials and tribulations are a good example for all of us.
Mourning is for two things. Show of respect for the passed, and opportunity to clear the minds of those remaining. Different speeds for everyone.
I wouldn't want my wife to wait very long after me. I believe by telling her that will make it easier to avoid any guilt or worries in that area. It sounds like your wife had a similar conversation with you. A real gift of love, IMHO.
I can't think of a better way to share your life and experiences than through a ministry of some sort. People are constantly wondering "why" or "how do I go on" or "nobody understands," which is where I believe anyone who has struggled with loss or other strife are in a unique position to guide others, while being fed and healed at the same time.
Who understands an addict's struggle better than someone who has walked that road? Who understands loss better than one who has stood alone and remained faithful? Who understands proper priorities better than one who has lost all?
Sometimes our trials aren't about us, they are for others around us and those whom we haven't yet met. Show them, Larry, how to "walk the walk, not just talk the talk." Trials we expected to break us purify our spirit, harden our resolve in the Master's plan.
Stand tall, Larry. Be confident as you share the Word. Who can understand more than one who has sent their most beloved ahead to wait in that place to which we aspire. This rock is just a stepping stone, a short blip in eternity. Helping others get a solid foothold is truly an honorable toil.
Please stick around here and share your experiences. We could use more examples of good men, doing good works.
May the Lord bless you and keep you as you begin this new and exciting journey!