I remember when I was a kid my grandmother would always threaten me that Santa would bring me a "bucket of coal" if I was bad that year.
I'm not sure if anyone outside of the coal region has ever been threatened with that or not. This year I decided to write Santa a letter again. Let me know what you all think of it before I send it to him.
I've been a bad boy this year and I must inform you that I deserve a bucket of coal. In fact, to be honest I've been really bad and should probally get at least a ton of coal.
I know you will have trouble getting a ton of coal down my chimney, so to save you some problems, please put it in the basement window on the north west corner of my home.
I'll write again next year and let you know my behavior.
PS. Please make it Rice coal.