I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand as I just lost my best friend. Her name was Babygirl. A cocker spaniel. She battled cancer for just over a year. We gave her chemo and she never got sick at all. It cost a ton of money but I'm just gratefull I could pay for it. No regrets whatsoever. It has only been 1 week since she left me and I still break down and cry like a baby. I have always loved my pets but she was just like a soul mate to me. Hard to really explain that even to myself. It's hard for me to type much so I'm going to just copy and paste a email I wrote to a friend of mine in response to his condolences. I don't mean to hijack this thread but I think many of us feel this kind of pain. I am just having an awful time getting past this. I miss her so much it is like a big hole in my life. I hope you feel better after the passing of months and I hope you have faith.Anyway:
Thanks, Steve for your thoughts. Of course I blubbered all over my computer reading them. I have no regrets with what I did. I wondered for a few days and nights if it was time for her to go but the next day would end up being well worth it. Tail wagging, face lick, paw on my knee, a ball in her mouth and those wicked sad eyes looking at me with her tail waggling away-man that was worth living another day. That last night followed by that last day was less than fun. Her breathing was labored, her fever would come and go, and she almost could not stand up at all. She pooped on the kitchen floor in the morning because we didn;t put her out soon enough-just letting her relax. Wasn't her fault. She looked sad that she couldn't get up to let us know. We just cleaned her up and gave her more kisses and hugs. That afternoon pat saw some blood in her drool as she laid on the floor and I just held her for a long,long time trying to read her thoughts. There was no more tail wagging, or face licking and that was the very first day in her entire life that she didn't want to eat anything! I called Marion Animal Hosp. and they said I could bring her in to end things. That sweety just wouldn't let me have to do that to her. Pat rode in the back seat of the truck and held her while I drove to the Vet through the back roads of Rochester. After a short ride, she picked her head up and looked at both of us and pooped on the blanket. Then Pat said "I think she's gone". I just yelled No. I pulled over and went in the back and held her and listened to her chest-I heard nothing at all. I thought that I had missed holding her at the very end. Then suddenly she came back to life and looked at me, took 3 gasps for air and she was gone in my arms. Needles to say i balled like a baby and could care less.Long story short- We continued on our way again but instead of the Vet we went to Angel View Cemetary. Pat stayed in the truck with her While I made arrangements inside breaking down several times. We had her cremated and I actually got her back the next afternoon. She's right in the living room with the other wild animals (where they usually hang out). I know you understand. I know Dennis and Ricky Dee know what its all about too. It would be easier if I thought I'd see her again someday but I don't have any faith anymore. Kinda makes it crappier i guess. At this point in my life I feel that there is no God. Or if there is, he's an *censored* anyway and I don't want tom meet him. I'd tell him that to his face. It is what it is i guess. Best I can hope for is that I'm the ass and sadly mistaken. Your words and thought were much appreciated and I am lucky to have you as a friend (along with most of the rest of the gang). Thanks. Some bonds are just more special than others. Babygirl had something special with me that I can't explain. I love them all.... but she was different somehow.She had a pretty good last weekend with us that I will never forget. I have lots of video that are just for her and me to remember. Later.
BTW she is the one on the right in my profile pic