CIVIL WAR!

Civil War begins at Gettysburg!

War correspondent Dann757 here, overlooking the historic site.

The battle began today at 0800 hrs.

The liberal forces began a charge from the left flank across hidden paths in their minefield, strategically placed banana peels. The first oncoming wave of gay men; armed with vibrating sex toys, and courageously waving the rainbow flag, were cut down by the opposing minefields of surplus claymore mines. Ohh that’s gotta sting.

The American civilian forces held their ground on the right, with American flags waving.

The second charge by the liberal army, headed by Joy Behar, launched a massive volley of organic tofu grenades with free trade macramé slings; to no effect. The Americans were out of range, ordered not to fire, “Until you see the pinks of their eyes.”

An immediate and courageous third wave was launched, led by General Oprah on a gyro scooter, and field marshal Sean Penn. A fearsome volley of imported Chinese light blue Hello Kitty Frisbees was hurled at the opposing forces. Claims that the Frisbees were smeared with deadly margarine remain unsubstantiated. Minor injuries were inflicted as some of the frisbees bounced off the Kevlar body armor of the loyalist American troops.

The courage of the liberal army was apparent, as a resounding chorus of “We Are The World, We Are The Children” echoed across the battlefield. A moral decision was made by high-ranking leader Bill Maher, not to use lawn Jarts in the conflict, “Ohh c’mon, they could put somebody’s eye out!”

A fourth wave of OWS protesters had been organized to throw feces and urine bombs, but they could not be motivated to exert themselves.

On the right flank, General Gary Sinese, despite being armed with LARS rockets, bazookas, several M1-Abrams tanks, and Apache attack helicopters, ordered an initial volley of bottle rockets to be launched at the liberal army.
The liberal army scattered, presumably running for the safety of San Francisco. Cries of “Run Bruce, run!” and “Thtop it, you’re frightening uth!” could be heard receding into the distance.

The Emperor could not be reached for comment, as he was on a surfing vacation on his now private Hawaiian Islands.

Meanwhile,

conspicuously hidden on the nearby ridges were the NRA and the " gun nuts" watching intently while rubbing each others shinny black ...... weapons , and cheering on the doomsday brigade as they feverishly
burrowed for china. Conservative republicans silently wept at the spectacle realizing that they could finally admit their secret longing to hold and polish those BIG shinny black............ weapons

AAA+++ 10-star job Dan!!!

Nice try, Waldo ...

Smitty,

In the words of the infamous Larry the cable guy " That right there is funny, I dont care who you are"

Waldo

That's why I gave Dan 10 stars.

All three of ya deserve a round of applause!!!
....great post !

10 stars for funny....... yes zero stars for balanced reporting But hey, thats normal for the press or at least FOX news......

corespondent 757 any action on the front? have all the weapons been confiscated ? updates? The conservative "fringe element" seems to have somehow
silenced our corespondent but we are expecting an update after he returns from rehab. Standing by..........

waldo lemieux wrote:corespondent 757 any action on the front? have all the weapons been confiscated ? updates? The conservative "fringe element" seems to have somehow
silenced our corespondent but we are expecting an update after he returns from rehab. Standing by..........

Me thinks he doth protest a bit to much.

[quote="waldo lemieux"]Meanwhile,

conspicuously hidden on the nearby ridges were the NRA and the " gun nuts" watching intently while rubbing each others shinny black ...... weapons , and cheering on the doomsday brigade as they feverishly
burrowed for china. Conservative republicans silently wept at the spectacle realizing that they could finally admit their secret longing to hold and polish those BIG shinny black............ weapons

"SHINNY"?
I'm sorry, but what do the black weapons have to do with kids hockey games?

waldo lemieux wrote:......., thats normal for the press or at least FOX news...... ...

WOW .... ok, you keep believing that.

While all news today has an agenda, FOX is the LEAST of our worries. MSNBC & CNN for example have become mouthpieces for the democrat party. They don't even try to hide it anymore! There's a reason why subscribers to Glenn Beck's Blaze TV outnumber viewers of either channel.


Anyway, while Dan's post was meant to be funny (at least to us right-leaning folks), there's lots of truth to it that can't be denied either.

Smitty,

Funny was exactly how I took it, and Id hoped that my response was taken as such. Sheesh I was actually lookin for an update from dann.... I think I got something from baddawg but Im thinkin that it was to complicated ? Sorta like one of stings' riddles. anyhoo...... Just passig time looking for a laugh

regards ,
Waldo